


Unearth The Ghosts

by idrilhadhafang, MidgardianNerd



Series: Star Wars AUs [12]
Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Abuse, Alternate Universe - Fantasy, Alternate Universe - Medieval, Costume Parties and Masquerades, Evil Snoke, First Time, First Time Blow Jobs, Gags, Knight Kylo Ren, Kylo Ren Angst, Kylo Ren Has Issues, Kylo Ren Needs a Hug, Kylo Ren and Rey Are Related, Loss of Virginity, M/M, On Snoke’s end only, POV Kylo Ren, POV Poe Dameron, Physical Abuse, Poe Dameron Needs A Hug, Prince Poe Dameron, Princess Rey, Slow Build, Slow Burn, Slow Romance, Snoke Being a Dick
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-02-24
Updated: 2018-03-17
Packaged: 2019-03-23 13:06:28
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 30,206
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13788366
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/idrilhadhafang/pseuds/idrilhadhafang, https://archiveofourown.org/users/MidgardianNerd/pseuds/MidgardianNerd
Summary: When Kylo Ren, knight to King Snoke, goes to the Dameron kingdom to investigate the newfound awakening in the world of magic, he didn’t count on falling for Prince Poe Dameron, or unearthing secrets of his past.





	1. Masquerade

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I own nothing. 
> 
> Author’s Notes: This is my first actual co-write that I’m doing with MidgardianNerd. Special thanks to her for her suggestions for this chapter!

No one expected King Snoke to show up at a masquerade ball in his full glory. Indeed, one could say he was the last being that would actually show up to a masquerade ball. Especially considering that as he had told Kylo Ren, his knight, masquerade balls were frequently excuses for debauchery and decadence.

But there had been an awakening in the world of magic, and Kylo Ren and Snoke, as well as the other Knights of Ren, had gone out to investigate. Was it the princess Rey? She was already incredibly accomplished in many other things. Swordfighting was one of them, and though there were some who found it unbelievable, they usually learned better once they had gone up against her.

Or so Kylo Ren had been told.

So there Kylo Ren was, among the other masquerade participants, wearing a mask if only because he was obligated to, not because he wanted to. He looked around the room full of people twirling about in brightly colored costumes, sensing their thoughts. Though they were repulsed by King Snoke being there, they at least seemed determined to ignore him. To pretend that the masquerade ball was going well. Over in the center was a man and a woman, the man dressed in a gold mask and the woman in a silver one, and Kylo could only assume they were Princess Rey and Prince Poe.

From their thrones, King Kes and Queen Shara watched the proceedings, and Kylo had to admit that they had a sort of dignity to them. The Queen was beautiful, her dark hair in an elaborate hairstyle, and the King had the look of the war veteran from the times of Lord Palpatine, handsome and wise.

Kylo watched the proceedings, and others stayed far away from him, of course. No one would dare to approach King Snoke with his bodyguards, the Knights of Ren, around him. Kylo took comfort in the masquerade mask that he was wearing, that covered the upper half of his face, though sadly, not his too-full lips and weak chin.

He only wished that it covered more. King Snoke had said that his father had similar features. Kylo wondered idly if he wore them better.

It was at midnight, when Kylo went out to the balcony, that he took off his mask. It was usually when he was alone that he removed his masks. He found that removing them in front of other people made him feel almost naked. Snoke found it ridiculous. He didn’t quite understand.

Footsteps. He turned around, only to see the man with the gold mask behind him.

“You’re expecting someone?” said the man in the gold mask. He had a very pleasant voice, Kylo thought, almost lilting in nature. Kylo couldn’t see his whole face, but he could decipher almost sculpted lips, pale in color, and bronzed skin.

“I was,” Kylo said curtly.

“There’s no need to get angry,” said the man. “I was only asking.”

Kylo sat down. Already, he was tired, and looking out at the stars was soothing enough, enough to distract him from the debauchery that was going on inside. “I’m not angry,” he said.

“I see,” said the man. He looked over Kylo’s face before removing his own mask, and Kylo could see him more clearly. Thick black curls, almost unruly. Bright brown eyes. “You waiting for someone?”

“King Snoke.”

“I see.” The man’s voice went cool, and something about it was enough to stoke Kylo Ren’s already notorious temper.

“You think we don’t know we’re not welcome?” he snapped. “I already know. I thought I wouldn’t hide my face and outright lie. As opposed to the rest of the court.”

“It’s Snoke I don’t like,” the man said. “Not you.” A beat. “I don’t blame you in the least.”

That, Kylo thought, was perhaps the first time that anyone had said that to him.

“Thank you,” he said.

“You’re very welcome.” The man smiled. “I’m Prince Poe Dameron, by the way.”

“I should have known.” A smile tugged at Kylo Ren’s lips despite himself. “Kylo Ren.”

“You don’t dance much, do you?” said the prince.

“I’m not fond of it, no.”

“I can’t say I’m the fondest of it either.” The prince sighed. “So I can’t blame you.”

Kylo laughed despite himself. “You, not fond of dancing?”

“Surprising, isn’t it?” The prince sat comfortably, but there was a sort of regality in how he sat, almost like he was sitting on a throne.

“What do you prefer?”

“Riding horses,” said the prince. “There’s something about being out there, riding one of them. Do you often ride for pleasure, Kylo Ren?”

“I haven’t done it in a long time.”

“A pity. You’re really missing something.”

“I can imagine.” Kylo took a deep breath. “It is...different, I will admit. I didn’t expect so many bright colors.” In the Snoke Kingdom, it was a bleak place, black and red, with only things such as Snoke’s gold robe breaking up the color scheme.

“It’s beautiful here, isn’t it?”

“Yes.”

It was then that a female voice cut into the conversation. “Poe!”

Poe and Kylo turned towards the source of the voice. The princess Rey, Kylo realized. Poe’s betrothed. She was beautiful, Kylo realized. Indeed, the two of them looked beautiful together — the princess with her brown hair done up in an elaborate three-bun hairstyle with silver decorations, the prince with his unruly black curls.

Poe turned towards Kylo. “I hope to see you again,” he said.

“As do I,” Kylo said. “Your Highness.”

And even as the prince and princess left, Kylo had a feeling that this...this had been a good night.

 


	2. Nightmares & Memories

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> King Kes and Queen Shara remember too well things they would do everything in their power to forget.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Now my turn. My first chapter for this new co-writing project with Idrilhanhafang. Thanks to her to have edit my chapter. Here a little bit of backstory.

It was the coldness surrounding her which awoke Shara. After more than thirty years spent sleeping in her husband's arms, she could feel when her beautiful King wasn't with her in their bed. And she also knew the reason which was making him desert their bed most of the time. His nightmares were hers too, but Kes was always too reluctant to speak to her about it. She knew what Kes endured twenty-five years ago, she knew, but she couldn't understand.

The Queen looked around, searching for her husband in their chamber, and finally spotted him, his shape illuminated by the moonlight. He was looking outside, his eyes lost in the immensity of their gardens, his mind lost in the past. Shara sighed. It was getting better. Kes was still haunted, but she was convinced he was finally grieving for his fallen friend. It was a long time ago since the last time her love had been unable to find sleep, fearing to be assaulted by nightmares full of death, blood and fire.

Shara got out of the bed and wrapped herself in a blanket, shivering lightly. In silence, she walked to Kes before putting her arms around him, wrapping him in the blanket with her. She felt him jumping a little bit, Shara bringing him back in reality. She put her chin on his shoulder and Kes took her hands in his, squeezing them against his chest. Shara answered to his need to feel her by kissing his naked shoulder, grounding him in reality even more.

 

“What happened, my love?” whispered Shara, nuzzling against Kes' back. “Is it about Han?” She could feel Kes nodding and a deep sigh making his lips shaking.

 

Shara pressed Kes harder against her. The Dameron family always had been close to the Organa Kingdom and Kes became King at the same time that Leia Organa became Queen. Both couples had hit off really well and Han and Kes became strong friends while fighting against Palpatine together. Shara began the war, but being pregnant with her beautiful little Poe, she left the battles quickly, leaving to Han Solo the care to protect her husband. And he did well. He promised to Shara to bring Kes to her and he did it.

Han and Kes became brothers in arms, and Han became Poe's godfather once their little ray of sunshine was born to clear his father's mind from the horror of the war. Three years later, Han returned his affection by asking to Kes to become the godfather of his own little boy. Kes became quickly smitten with little Ben, as  did Shara. Both their kingdoms lived in peace and Shara really thought that Palpatine was the last monster they would have to fight in their lives. How much she would have given everything to be right.

Four years later, the Dameron Kingdom woke with the news of their allies being violently attacked and needing their help. Kes did everything in his power to go to their rescue as soon as possible, leaving to Shara the protection of their own kingdom. But it was already too late. When the Dameron army finally came to the Organa Castle, all the kingdom was already drowned in blood and fire. They stepped among corpses, the whole people having already been killed. Kes had wanted to hope, to believe that their friends were alive and fleeing to join the safety of his own kingdom.

He believed it until fighting against Snoke's army, his best men managed to enter the castle, witnessing even more destruction and death. When he saw the lifeless body of his brother, of Han hugging the lifeless body of his wife as if to protect her one last time, Kes felt his heart breaking and the pain was so strong, so intense that he would have been unable to fight anymore against these evil creatures who took the life of his friends. He would have been unable if there wasn't someone needing him. But yet, little Ben was nowhere to be found and Kes needed to find him. He needed to save him. To save Han's little boy.

Kes searched everywhere. In every room of the castle. He fought like a madman, slaughtering through his enemies, letting the rage fog his rational mind. He searched again and again, but as the hours passed, more enemies were coming to them and despair mauled Kes' heart. Kes had to make a choice: still looking for Ben or going back to his own son. Kes felt like he died at this right moment and his Knights almost had to drag him back to his kingdom.

The news of the destruction of the House Organa had been a cruel blow to them, Shara mourning his friends and trying to help Kes to recover from what he saw, as well as trying to answer Poe’s questions about where Ben and his parents had gone. Kes had spent days praying for someone to appear with the little Solo in his arms, telling him that he has been sent by Han to ask for Kes to take care of his son, to raise him as his own. But it never happened. After two years, Kes stopped watching the horizon every morning.

With time, they mourned, Poe forgetting about the little boy he played with, Kes feeling strength in Shara and Poe, Shara taking care of Kes, returning the favor that Han did for her during the last war. She knew that Han would have wanted his brother in arms to be happy. The worst has probably been accepting that there was nothing they could do against Snoke, this one being too powerful for them. They surrendered to him and Shara never forgot the humiliation it had been for her. For them.

 

Shara buried her nose behind Kes' ear, kissing his skin lightly, and her husband snuggled his head against her.

“What happened?” she asked again, quietly wiping off the tears from his cheeks.

“My usual nightmares.” he answered, sighing.

 

Shara stepped front of him and her husband took her in his arms, burying his nose in her hair. She let her hands stroke Kes' back, soothing away his sobs.

 

“Talk to me.” whispered Shara, looking up at his face, touching Kes' lips with the tip of her fingers.

“I...I felt his presence. At the ball.” admitted Kes, looking away from Shara, feeling ashamed, fearing for madness to have finally taken possession of his mind.

“You felt Han's presence ?” asked Shara, taking Kes' chin in her hand to make him look at her.

Kes nodded, absently touching the amulet around his neck, a gift from Han for Poe's birth. Kes never took it off anymore after Han's death and Shara was doing the same with the one Leia offered to her.

 

“It...it wasn't really him. I know that. It's just...something reminded me of him tonight.” explained Kes.

“Maybe it was because it almost has been twenty-five years.” said Shara, trying to comfort her love.

 

Kes offered to her a small smile before kissing her hands.

 

“You're probably right, my dearest.” answered Kes, finally kissing the mouth of his queen. “What would I do without you ?” he added.

“Pray you never find the answer to this.” replied back Shara, kissing again her husband.

“Every day my dearest.” whispered Kes, hugging Shara in her arms.

“Come back to bed with me, my love.” whispered Shara and Kes nodded.

 

He threw a last glance onto the gardens, catching a dark shape walking through the field. When a ray of moonlight hit the face of this shadow, Kes felt his breath stuck in his throat. Han's ghost was right under his eyes.  


	3. Revelry

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kylo watched the troupe.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I own nothing. 
> 
> Author’s Notes: Special thanks to MidgardianNerd for suggesting Finn’s cameo here.

The stark morning light was quite a contrast to the mystery and glamour of the masquerade ball. Kylo’s mask was stripped away, and he had to show his face. Kylo Ren couldn’t say that he was used to eating among others, let alone the rather lavish meals and the whispers and stares.

_Is that Kylo Ren?_

_Poor man — it can’t have been easy doing what King Snoke ordered him to do —_

Kylo gritted his teeth. Right now, he didn’t want anyone’s pity. Not in particular, at least. It didn’t help that the King and Queen would not stop looking over at him, even as Kylo tried focusing on his food. Ahead, the prince and the princess sat together, the princess wearing blue this time, and Kylo looked away from them, more than content to be by himself.

It was after breakfast that they went to watch the performances of one of the kingdom’s troupes. Kylo was about to sit by himself when Poe beckoned him over and asked if he wanted to sit with him.

Kylo wanted to refuse, and yet there was something about the prince’s beckoning hand, his friendly, open face, that was enough to make Kylo accept.

“You’re friendly to everyone,” he observed even as he followed Prince Poe over to the box.

“Is that bad?” Poe said.

“It’s...” _Odd_ , Kylo concluded.

“I don’t see anything wrong with being nice to someone,” Poe continued.

“It’s not something I’m used to.”

Poe smiled. It was a nice smile, Kylo couldn’t help but think. It was the sort of smile that lit up his face. He was already handsome, but here, with crinkles around the eyes and white teeth flashing, he looked practically radiant.

Kylo couldn’t help but envy him, at least a little bit. Kylo’s own face was awkward, but everything about Poe seemed perfectly proportioned, perfectly sculpted. And here, it was like everything came together.

Not for the first time, Kylo Ren wished that he was someone else.

“Well,” Poe said, “Consider it your first, you know. Your first experience with someone being kind to you.”

“Yes.” Kylo Ren found a faint smile tugging at his lips despite himself.

The performers began, swirling and twirling about in a flurry of bright colors, the jugglers juggled, and Kylo had to admit that he had never seen so many bright colors in his life. He watched, transfixed by the sheer swirling of color despite himself, and Poe watched, staring straight ahead at the performing troupe. Kylo couldn’t help but be transfixed by his profile; there was something about the prince where even his profile seemed like something out of a painting. A long, elegant nose. Curly black hair. Long lashes. There was something about the prince that seemed almost delicate, even as he watched the performing troupe.

The prince must have caught Kylo staring, because he said, “They’re good, are they not? The troupe.”

“They are.” Kylo said. He wouldn’t deny that they had talent, not in the slightest. The jugglers, the dancers, and others.

Across from him, King Snoke was silent, rigid. There was always something about Snoke’s grace and dignity that Kylo admired. It was something to be taken away, considering the pain he had endured.

“Is this your first time watching such things?” Poe’s voice jarred him away from watching Snoke. “Your first masquerade, for that matter?”

“No. Though my lord was never fond of such things,” Kylo said. “He considered them...decadent.”

“Indeed?” Poe said, rather pointedly.

“Yes.”

“A harsh way of looking at things,” said Poe.

“Yes, but it is his perspective.”

“Is it yours?”

Silence. Then, “I’m not fond of dancing.”

“That we can agree on, at least,” Poe said. Silence. “So what is it like, back at the King’s court?”

“I train extensively,” said Kylo. “The king doesn’t often interact with his Knights, but he oversees their training, as well as the training of his Praetorian guards.”

“How long have you trained?”

Kylo swallowed. “As long as I can remember.”

“How can the king enforce such cruelty?”

“Surely you don’t have it as well?” Kylo said.

Poe shook his head. “Absolutely not,” he said. “It’s inhumane.”

“It’s...” And yet Kylo could still remember the cruelties of his training. And Snoke...the king could be loving and nurturing one moment, hurling verbal cruelties the next. You never knew what you were going to get.

Was it different back at Poe’s court? Kylo could not help but wonder. No, he couldn’t afford to think such treasonous thoughts.

Poe reached over and touched his hand. There was something about that gesture that was comforting. “I’m sorry that he treated you in such a way.”

“I require no one’s pity,” Kylo said. “If the king ‘mistreated’ me, I earned it in full.”

“You earned nothing,” Poe said.

And Kylo couldn’t help but reflect that no one had really said something like that to him before.

The performance drew to a close, and they went inside the castle for the banquet. Even seeing the lavish foods on the table, Kylo Ren could not help but be amazed.

“There’s plenty of room,” Poe said.

Kylo nodded. Back at Snoke’s castle, he had a very restrictive sort of diet, certainly not the type to indulge in these sorts of meals. He shouldn’t be having these feelings of curiosity, except yes, there were some foods that he would like to try.

He sat down, at a different table with the rest of his Knights, and took a bite of rich meat and sweet fruit. He couldn’t help but watch Poe from a distance. Poe ate almost delicately, daintily, and Kylo watched him, watched his long, elegant, olive-skinned throat bob and ripple.

“She is beautiful, is she not?” one of his Knights, Finn, said. He was a handsome man, his skin a russet reddish brown, his eyes brown and expressive and focused on Rey. “The princess.”

“Yes,” Kylo said, trying to cover up his watching the prince. “She is.”

The banquet finished, and Kylo and the others headed up to bed. The room that Kylo had was a lot like his room back at Snoke’s castle — simple, almost bare, though the artwork on the ceiling depicting the war against Lord Palpatine. He couldn’t say how something like that could be conducive to sleep, but there it was.

Kylo closed his eyes and fell into a deep, troubled sleep, full of images and strange memories he doubted he could put together.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


	4. Bud of Hope

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kylo explores the Dameron kingdom but didn't expect to explore himself that much.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to Idrilhadhafang for editing this chapter.

Kylo was awakened early, not feeling at ease in a castle he didn't know by heart. Knowing every secret passage, every weakness of the place where he was staying, knowing the strengths and the weaknesses of the people he was obligated to rub with, it was like that Kylo was able to put his mind at peace. But there, in an unknown place and surrounded by hostile people to him and his King, Kylo was feeling uncomfortable.

 

The young Knight got out of his room as soon as possible, crossing the path of the servants who were already at work on such an early hour. Kylo took the time to observe them and also to explore the castle a little bit, becoming familiar with it in case they would need to exfiltrate their King from this unwelcoming place.

 

Soon, Kylo was in the gardens and his steps led him to a little private garden, full of flowers and unknown scents for him, more used to the smells of forges and fire from his own kingdom. If Snoke had an obsession, it wasn't to make his kingdom a pleasant place like the Damerons, but a well-armed place, a real stronghold to discourage his enemies from the idea to attack him and to steal his throne. There was resting the greatest fear of his King: to be deprived from his crown and his power, like he did with the precedent sovereigns of his kingdom.

 

Kylo felt a pain in his chest at this idea. Snoke always told them how he took back what was due to him, how he rescued this kingdom from the decadent life the rulers had and expected their people to have. Kylo never really thought about it before. It was a long time before he was an age to understand and Snoke was careful with his knights and soldiers for them to not develop a political consciousness. But being there, seeing how all these people, coming from different kingdoms were so hostile to Snoke made him seeing things differently. It wasn't simple fear, knowing that Snoke was stronger than any of them reunited. It was hate, pure hate and even Snoke's usual hate towards mankind could not reach the amount of hate Kylo witnessed in King Kes' eyes when he laid his eyes on Snoke. It was personal. Like Snoke had killed all his family and Kylo wondered if it wasn't right. Maybe the precedent rulers of Snoke's kingdom weren't so bad as Snoke liked to make it sound. They were loved. Obviously loved a lot. At least by King Kes and Queen Shara and Kylo could felt deep inside him that they were both good people.

 

A voice in his mind, sounding too likely like his King's, chastised him and Kylo feeling a flash of pain through his skull, clenched his teeth. Kylo never knew from where this pain was coming but it always had been there every time he thought about his king in a negative way. If Snoke's magic was able to do that, Kylo didn't want to think about what he would be able to do to him if he knew that Kylo sometimes doubted.

 

Kylo was interrupted in his unpleasant thoughts when a ray of sunshine hit his eyes and made him looking around it. Kylo had never been an expert in hiding his emotions, that was why he loved wearing his mask so much. But nobody would have recognized the expression of awe on his face because he never experienced it before.

 

There were so many colours, even more than at the ball, and the light from the sun was making them so bright, so full of life. Kylo never saw something more beautiful in his life. Feeling awkward, not deserving to be surrounded by such beauty and pureness, Kylo walked towards a tree, the only one without open flowers. He stayed front of it for long minutes, not wanting to disturb the peace of this little heaven. His eyes were absorbing so many new informations, discovering new shades of color he didn't know were existing before.

 

Kylo took off one of his gloves before reaching slowly for a bud a little bit higher than his eyes. When he finally touched it with the tip of his fingers, like by magic, the bud opened, giving birth to a delicate white flower, already bathing in the sunlight. Kylo took back his hand, like he had  touched fire. Was he the one doing that? How was it possible? It was probably a coincidence. But when he touched it, he felt warmth in his fingers and the strange feeling of the flower leaning in the crook of his fingers.

 

“Oh! Looks like we have a precocious one.” said a cheerful voice at Kylo's left side.

 

The Knight fought his instincts to go for the throat of the intruder and felt relieved even more when he realized that it was the Prince standing next to him. No need for him to provoke a diplomatic incident or even worse, a war, because he wasn't able to control his fear to be attacked at every moment of his life. Snoke's training was a blessing and also a curse at the same time.

 

Kylo breathed deeply, trying to relax and to be as pleasant as he could, which meant not very much but enough for not making himself a fool front of the elegant Prince Poe. The young man offered him a sweet smile which lit up his whole face, even more so with the sun hitting these beautiful features. Kylo gave him a tensed smile, feeling weirdly vulnerable to have been caught far away from his usual behavior.

 

“Mother will be pleased.” said Poe, looking with utter adoration to the little flower and Kylo could felt all the love the man was holding for his mother in such few words.

“Is it her garden?” asked Kylo with some hesitation, after realizing that the Prince was expecting him to make conversation and not being used to it.

 

“Not exactly.” said Poe, laughing. He caressed the newborn flower with extreme care and Kylo felt hypnotized by such a tender gesture, so unusual for him to witness. “When I was a child, my father needed a distraction from his own mind so he began to garden. He always says that he needed to see life blossoming instead of death winning.” added the prince and Kylo looked down, nervously swallowing.

 

He could understand that. Warriors like him were trained all his life, himself from his childhood, to fight and kill without blinking. But Kylo never could not think about what it was really costing to them, to him and he kind of felt comforted to know that even a king could feel like that. Maybe it wasn't so wrong to feel like this.

 

“My mother loves these gardens so much that he continues to do them for her.” said the prince, bringing Kylo's mind to focus on him.

 

“That's...understandable.” whispered Kylo awkwardly and Poe finally tore his eyes off the flower to look straight to his companion.

 

“You're not sounding really convinced by your own words.” claimed Poe and it took a few long seconds for Kylo to realize that there was no judgment in these eyes, just curiosity.

 

“It's beautiful.” whispered Kylo, looking at the flower. “But so ephemeral. How can we be attached to something while knowing perfectly that it would die ?”

 

“That's why it's so beautiful.” said Poe, smiling. He touched Kylo's arm with kindness but the Knight tensed, not used to being touched in any other way than to be hurt. Poe seemed to realized it and let slide his hand away from Kylo's arm, his smile becoming sadder.

 

“How?” asked Kylo, really confused of this way of thinking.

 

“Because the memories are even more precious than the real thing.” said Poe, smiling. With a gesture, he beckoned to Kylo to walk with him, and Kylo obeyed without even thinking, wanting to know more about Poe's thoughts on this matter.

 

“Don’t you agree with me?” asked Poe when he saw the Knight frowning.

 

“I...I don't know.” Kylo whispered back, looking down, feeling so ashamed to not understand what the prince meant.

 

“Don't you have memories dear to your heart?” asked Poe, his eyes drifting away to the flowers around them.

 

“My memories aren't really pleasant memories.” answered Kylo.

 

“And from your childhood? From your parents?” added Poe, smiling again at him and Kylo felt really disturbed to be the one inspiring so many pleasant gestures from the prince.

 

“I don't remember them.” Kylo said. Even trying to remember them was like he had some sort of locked door in his mind, forbidding him from going further.

The prince stopped walking and Kylo followed his example, looking at his companion who was looking at him with shock written on his face, like he couldn't process what Kylo just said. Kylo felt himself blushing under such a stare. He probably did something offensive or weird and displeased the young man.

 

“You don't remember them?” whispered Poe and Kylo felt awful when he saw sadness filling these beautiful brown eyes. He didn't want to upset him.

 

“I don't know who they were.” said Kylo, shrugging, trying to convince the prince that it didn’t matter, that he didn't spend nights unable to sleep, asking to himself if they would have loved him, how they looked, if they were proud of him. “King Snoke said one day that I looked like my father but I don't remember him.” said Kylo, wanting to comfort Poe even though he didn't understand why the prince was suddenly sad.

 

“I can't understand how it feels but I'm sorry for you.” whispered Poe, taking Kylo's hand in both his hands and pressing it against his chest.

 

“For what ?” asked a confused Kylo.

 

“To have memories not good enough to be considered as precious.” answered Poe, his thumb caressing the back of Kylo's hand.

 

“Do not pity me, Your Highness. I'm just a knight. I don't deserve such worry from you.” answered Kylo, blushing but also appreciating to be the center of such kindness. This kingdom was in such good hands with a caring future sovereign like Prince Poe.

 

“I hope that your stay here will be the occasion to create good memories to fill your heart so.” added Poe, with a truly beautiful smile.

 

“I hope so.” answered Kylo with maybe the first honest smile from his life. It felt weird on his mouth but not unpleasant. And he was surprised to realize that he answered with his heart and not just to be polite.

 

* * *

 

“It looks like your secret spot has been taken today, my love.” said a cheerful voice and Kylo and the Prince jumped, Kylo yanking his hand away from Poe's embrace and putting his glove back on.

 

The Knight felt the blush crawling higher on his cheeks and he looked down, making a bow to salute the King and Queen and taking advantage of it to hide his face behind his long black hair. When he looked up, King Kes was looking at him with such intense eyes that Kylo felt like the man was trying to read his soul. The prince and his mother were talking but Kylo was the focus of King Kes' attention. Kylo fet uncomfortable to be studied like that. He hoped he did nothing to offend Poe's father. Queen Shara finally sensed her husband's strange behavior and Kylo's discomfort and with a hand on his arm, she brought him back to them, making him focus on Prince Poe's excited rambling. Kylo did his best to focus on it too, but he felt that he was an intruder in such an intimate family moment. He had nothing to do there. Kylo had no family outside his fellow knights and even them weren't allowed to be as close as the Damerons were. Kylo was waiting for an opportunity to flee to show up.

 

“The first white flower finally blossomed, Mother!” exclaimed Poe and the Queen chuckled at her son's excitement. “The White Spring Ball will be close.”

 

“It's a ball to celebrate the return of the Spring and asking for good things to happen to our beloved ones.” explained the Queen to Kylo and the knight felt grateful for her to acknowledge his presence.

 

“It's so beautiful! There are so many flowers and guests put flowers in their hair.” added Poe to Kylo, smiling brightly. Kylo couldn't hold back a smile front of such a childish behavior from a man of his age. It wasn't infuriating like Kylo was expecting it. Just different from what he was knowing. But Kylo knew he could never be like that. However, Prince Poe would probably become friends with Finn, the only one enough foolish to be optimistic in Snoke's kingdom, if the prince wasn't so eager to seek out Kylo's presence of all people.

 

“I'm sure that our young friend would look handsome with flowers in such beautiful black hair.” teased the Queen and Kylo blushed again, feeling a little bit disturbed at how much it was easy for the Damerons to make him feel new things, pleasant new things. Kylo felt better than when he woke up and feeling safe enough to not be mocked, tried the art of courting.

 

“Never as much than you, Your Majesty.” answered Kylo with a bow and a smirk which lifted the right corner of his mouth.

 

The Queen froze and looked at him with some trouble before pulling herself together and offering a sweet smile to the knight. But Kylo couldn't avoid the look she threw to him. He did something wrong. Enough to trouble her and so it was time for him to leave them.

 

“If you pardon me, Your Majesties.” said Kylo with a bow and when they answered back with a bow, he took his leave, quickly walking away from them.

 

“Be careful Father!” said Poe, laughing. “It looks like Mother got smitten with Sir Ren just from a smile!” 

 

Kes playfully pushed his son to punish him for teasing his mother.

 

Shara let both men of her life laughing but she did not disagree with her son. Maybe she was smitten with this young boy with just a smirk. Exactly like she got smitten with Han Solo with just a smirk.  


	5. White Spring

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The White Spring Ball occurs.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I own nothing. 
> 
> Author’s Notes: Special thanks to MidgardianNerd for her suggestions!

Two days passed, and the White Spring Ball arrived. Snoke had disdained the very idea of balls such as this, citing them as an excuse for debauchery and decadence, but they would participate if only out of obligation. After what Poe had told him, however, Kylo couldn’t help but be intrigued by the idea of a White Spring Ball. It was just a matter of getting the right fancy attire in place, not to mention weaving the necessary flowers in his hair.

The garland was beautiful, he wasn’t going to deny. He couldn’t say it did much to enhance his features, including his long nose. But it was beautiful.

The crown of flowers rested atop his head, different shades of the flowers standing out against black hair. Red, pink, white, blue, yellow — all of them were beautiful, Kylo had to admit.

It was heading out that Kylo found Poe, who wore a crown of flowers that evoked images of an elf prince, or a wood nymph. Kylo could not help but be amazed, in that moment, with how lovely the prince looked. The prince’s lips parted in obvious surprise as he blurted out, “You look lovely!” Then, “Everyone does, but you...”

Lovely. Kylo smiled, faintly. “Thank you.”

“It is the truth. Dance with us?”

Kylo could not refuse him.

He danced with several of the noblewomen, and then, later, danced with the prince, and there was something about their closeness, their proximity, that stuck with Kylo long after the dance ended.

It was after the ball ended that they headed back home. Kylo could hear King Snoke speaking with King Kes and Queen Shara.

“...perhaps we could come to an agreement,” Snoke said, in his almost fatherly way.

“Name it,” King Kes said, in a way that suggested that he knew he was all but making a deal with the Devil himself.

“My kingdom, then,” said Snoke. “Perhaps we can come to an understanding.”

“We don’t negotiate with terrorists of your ilk,” said King Kes, and Kylo winced at the word “terrorists”. Surely, King Kes was mistaken.

Is he? a part of him said, and a shooting pain went through his skull again.

Snoke didn’t even flinch. “ ‘Terrorist’ is an ugly word,” he said. “I prefer the term ‘visionary’. Besides, I doubt your hands are any cleaner, Your Highness. We just have different ways of achieving the same means.”

“I don’t murder innocents.”

“There are no innocents in war. Besides, are you any better, I wonder? What of the lives you took? And do not say ‘that was different’. Different ways, the same means.”

“What do you want, Snoke?” Queen Shara, this time.

“I hoped that we would come to an understanding,” Snoke said. “I await you in my kingdom later. And no need to bring weapons — I hoped we could engage in this like civilized beings, not with swords and blood.”

Silence. Then, with obvious repulsion, King Kes said, “We will...consider what you said.”

“Excellent. It is in your best interests, you see. The consequences could be...severe.”

It was once Snoke was away from the King and Queen both that he spoke with Kylo. “I would like to speak with you, if I may, about the prince.”

“Indeed?”

“You were dancing with him,” Snoke said, pointedly.

“It meant nothing,” Kylo insisted. “It was merely a dance. No more, no less.” A beat. “We were hardly doing anything inappropriate, were we? Not for the ball, at least.”

Snoke looked at him skeptically. “You are...mesmerized by him.”

“No.” Kylo said. “He is a good man, no more, no less.”

“If you are not careful, it could spiral into more than that.” Snoke said.

Silence.

“I always wondered what other maids saw in the prince,” Snoke said. “He’s not particularly special, is he?”

Kylo was about to reply, only for a shooting pain to go through his head. He rubbed his temples, and Snoke looked at him critically.

“Is all well?” he said.

“It is, my lord.”

Snoke seemed mollified. “Good. Only...do not fall in love, Kylo Ren. Love is a dangerous thing, and perhaps the worst of poisons. Love of any sorts can cut deeper than the sharpest blade and destroy you more than the worst poison. Except for mercy, there is nothing worse than love.”

Kylo nodded. He and Prince Poe were no more than friends, after all. Falling in love was not an option. And it would never be.

 


	6. A fighter's heart

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A training session brings a lot of new feelings.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I tried to make it short but my writer instincts have won. Thanks to idrilhadhafang for editing and helping me with the mess I wrote. Couldn't have done that without her.

Everybody awoke later than usual the next morning after the White Spring Ball. It was always the most important celebration of the year and everybody was enjoying their time until the end. Everybody except the Knights of Ren apparently. Because the little group of warriors were already on the training field, bathing in sunlight and doing exercises before getting into hand to hand combat.

 

Poe didn't plan to be up so early but he heard the swords clashing against each other under his window. Poe didn't think twice before getting out of his bed and going to watch the show. He was not afraid to admit that his decision was purely motivated by his new acquaintance. Poe couldn't yet think about him like a friend. He felt like something was restraining Kylo from accepting his friendship. Poe was thrilled by the challenge Kylo represented. No one before felt so at unease in Poe's company. It was one of his best talents. And yet Kylo was reluctant to let himself enjoy their time together. That and also the fact he was nothing like Poe expected him to be.

 

Poe grew up with Snoke's reputation being told to him over and over: how this man was cruel and his kingdom a place of despair and sadness. And how his soldiers were heartless. Maybe the part about Snoke was true and Poe was inclined to believe it. But for the soldiers, at least for Kylo, he was unable to accept it. Sure, the knight was awkward and cold to strangers but he was also someone brutally honest and Poe felt how the man was curious about everything he didn't know yet. Blind and brainwashed soldiers weren't letting themselves do that; the rules were too implanted in them to be broken. Kylo was definitely not a soldier. He was a warrior.

 

And probably a pretty good one if Poe was relying on Kylo's muscular appearance. The man was tall and huge and Poe felt so tiny next to him, it was almost ridiculous to see them standing side by side. But Poe never felt threatened. On the contrary, Poe felt safe next to him, feeling like Kylo could be a physical barricade between Poe and the rest of the world in case of any harm coming to him. Poe blushed at this thought. Kylo was a knight of Snoke, not of him or his father. In case of any danger, Kylo's loyalty would come to his King first and there were a lot of chance that the danger would come from Poe's side itself.

 

Poe's feet led him to the highest rampart and from there, he could see the Knights of Ren training, totally devoted to their duty. Poe didn't need to search for Kylo, the man was highly distinguishable from his comrades. The sun made his silky black hair shine and the sweat on his body glisten. The Knight wore a simple black top which was clinging to his body, accentuating a muscular chest. He had his gloves on and Poe felt upset to see that. He remembered Kylo's naked hand from their walk in the gardens, the feeling of this cold skin against his and how he felt so close to him at this moment, sharing something important and probably unique in Kylo's monastic life.

 

Kylo was facing a woman, even taller than Kylo and Poe remembered her as Phasma. She attracted a lot of looks on herself when she appeared the first time at the Dameron's court. Both opponents were walking around each other, measuring the weaknesses of each other. Poe could see a predatory smirk on their faces, clearly enjoying their fight. It was probably the only way to channel the energy from the young people they were which was allowed to them. Soon, both fighters were moving quickly, striking at each other and skirting the blows coming from the other one. Poe looked at them, fascinated. It was like watching an energetic dance, more fascinating than the ones taking place in the ballroom.

 

“Fascinating, right?” asked someone next to him and Poe jumped a little bit before recognizing his father's voice. He blushed, ashamed to have been caught in his intense examination of Kylo. What would his father think about him? Poe should have eyes only for Rey, his betrothed. But Poe was unable to not think of Kylo in a way close to the one he should think about Rey. He liked Rey, she was beautiful, sweet, strong and clever. But not as thrilling as Kylo was. Poe never felt connected in all his life to her like he felt connected to Kylo in few days and just few stolen moments spent alone. He never experienced that before and Poe was becoming addicted to this feeling.

 

“Hmm, yes.” said Poe, coughing. He was embarrassed but he knew that it wasn't necessary to lie to his father.

 

“Are you all right, my boy?” asked Kes, looking at his son who was refusing to look at him back. 

 

   “Fine,” Poe said. The truth was that he wasn’t fine. What would his father think if he didn’t feel the same for Rey as he was starting to feel for Kylo, or, God help them all, how would Rey’s father feel? It had been King Luke who had been the most onboard with the two royals’ marriage, believing that the two’s fates were linked. Kes had argued, of course, saying that they should marry for love, but King Luke had argued that it was for the good of the two kingdoms. 

 

If King Luke had any idea what Poe was thinking about Kylo Ren, it was likely he would be furious. Something that got in the way of his future visions. So it was best to keep it to himself, at least for now. 

 

“We should join them,” Kes said, and Poe smiled, genuine warmth flooding through him at the thought.

 

* * *

 

 

When both Dameron men reached the field where the Knights were training, Rey was with them and Poe felt even more uncomfortable, fearing the young Princess to see his attachment to Kylo and taking offense of it. He didn't want to hurt her. But he was beginning to think that he wouldn't be able to offer her what she wanted or needed. How could he when he knew that she wouldn't be able to do that for himself ?

Poe saw Phasma falling on the ground after long minutes fighting against Kylo. The woman was out of breath, exactly as her opponent and the man was pointing a sword to her. Phasma rose up her hands to show her surrender and Kylo smirked lightly before offering his hand to her, helping her to stand up again. That was when Kylo finally saw the newcomers.

Poe felt his breath stuck in his throat. He remembered how Kylo looked handsome at the Spring Ball with flowers of all colours in his beautiful black hair. But it wasn't even close to how he looked now with messy hair, some of them sticking on his forehead, and deep brown eyes looking amazing in the sunlight. His strong nose made him even more majestic than his stature did and Poe bit down his lower lip when he crossed his glance.

Poe heard his father chuckling next to him and the prince wanted to bury himself in the ground. He would probably have begun to do it if Kylo wouldn't have offered him a shy smile to welcome him. The Knight and his comrades bowed when Poe's father stepped ahead and Poe was fascinated to see how perfectly synchronized they were. He wondered if they were also like that in fight. If it was like that, they were probably deadly efficient and Poe understood why Snoke took pride in his army.

 

“Your Majesty.” said Kylo with a deep voice, hoarsely due to the effort he made. Poe felt a warm wave rolling through his body to settle in his stomach.

“Sir Ren!” said Kes, saluting back, and the blade of Kylo's sword rested on the ground, the Knight crossing his hands on the handle. Poe's eyes got attracted by the shape of Kylo's biceps, impressed. The man was a perfect balance between power and grace, Poe couldn't help to find this mix incredibly fascinating.

“You have some impressive moves there.” added Kes, sharing a smirk with Kylo who was taking immense pride in his Knights training. “Some of them we don't know in our Kingdom.”

“We're more traditional than you think, Your Majesty.” said Phasma. “Kylo is the only one doing this kind of stuff.” she teased and it sounded like a private joke since all the other Knights chuckled while Kylo threw a dark glance to Phasma, this one answering with a fake innocent smile.

“Impressive!” said Kes and Kylo looked at him, trying to judge if it was an honest praise. He probably thought that it was since he offered a shy smile to the sovereign.

“Thank you, Your Majesty!” answered Kylo.

“Would you agree for us to train with you?” asked Kes and both Kylo and Poe got surprised to this suggestion. “It would be good for Poe to fight against someone he didn't know the fighting skills.”

 

Kylo looked at Poe with intense eyes, tilting his head and Poe shifted uncomfortably under this glance. Poe understood that the Knight was judging Poe's physical abilities and also the fighter inside him. Not wanting to disappoint him, Poe lifted up his chin, looking back in Kylo's eyes, a little bit defiant, and with the firm intention to prove him that he was a worthy fighter.

 

“You're the same height as Finn,” said Kylo after a moment and he turned to make a sign to a young Knight with russet reddish-brown skin who stepped ahead with a bright smile for Rey.

“With you.” said Poe and everybody looked at him, surprised. “I want to fight against you.” said Poe, quietly. Poe wanted to prove to Kylo that he could be his equal.

“As you wish.” answered Kylo and the man walked towards to his Knights to prepare for their combat.

 

Poe began to prepare himself, taking out his sword and taking off his leather tunic. Rey was cheering him on, not doubting that Poe would be the winner and Poe gave her a grateful smile even if he wasn't as confident as her. Poe put his gloves on and his father came to him, putting his hands on Poe's shoulders.

“You always have been a little bit reckless.” said Kes, chuckling. 

“Your support moves me, Father!” said Poe wryly, but he smiled back. “Do you believe I will win?” asked Poe, feeling a little bit nervous to show his skills front of all these people and front of Kylo. He wanted to impress him, to show him that Poe was worth his time and his friendship.

“You will have your arse kicked, my boy !” said Kes, laughing. 

“Yeah. I figured it out.” Poe said with a sigh, playing with his sword.

“But you kept the score there. Our dear Sir Ren is definitely intrigued.” whispered a mischievous Kes.

 

Both looked at Kylo who was already waiting for Poe to join him. He could see the smirk on these beautiful lips and Poe felt more confident. Kylo looked like he was in a playful mood and Poe could definitely play along.

 

“Just enjoy the moment.” said Kes, grinning even as Poe felt heat rushing into his cheeks. His father never made such innuendoes before and Poe felt a little bit disturbed by it but also relieved that his father saw nothing wrong about his attraction for Kylo. Poe tightened his grip on his sword's handle and went to face Kylo.

 

* * *

 

Rey was observing both men circling each other, the Knight obviously waiting for Poe to attack first. Rey didn't doubt Poe any minute. He maybe wasn't the best sword fighter of the Kingdom, this title being the one of King Kes, but he could hold his ground and even if Rey beat him a few times, Poe was still more trained than her and talented in fighting skills. And counter to King Kes, Rey didn't see Ren being particularly talented with a sword. Surely Poe was able to win and to wipe that smirk off Ren’s face. 

The young knight called Finn came to her side and she gave him a sweet smile. He was looking so different from his comrades, all of them cold and not showing any emotion on their faces. It was disturbing and Rey could definitely not trust them.

 

“Poe shouldn't have dismissed you like that. I'm sure you're a worthy opponent.” said Rey, feeling unhappy with Poe to have been so insensitive to the need of a young knight to prove himself.

“That's all right, Your Highness.” said the young man, smiling brightly, and Rey felt her unease disappearing. “I know how much Kylo can be fascinating when he is fighting.” he added and Rey frowned, not understanding why all of them were so mesmerized by the dark knight when she was finding nothing interesting about him. Unlike Finn. To see so much light and positivity in a knight from Snoke's Kingdom,  _ that _ was really fascinating.

 

* * *

 

Poe felt that Kylo wasn't at his full power and that he was mostly indulging Poe's presence and attack attempts in their fight. The Knight was only dodging Poe's sword and Poe feared the moment the man would decide to end this masquerade. Poe decided to prove to him that it wouldn't be so simple and he attacked Kylo with quick blows. The Knight answered with brutal moves and Poe felt his feet sliding on the floor while he was trying to put up with the blows.

Then Kylo did a spin on himself and Poe, too surprised to see a soldier exposing his back to the enemy like that, didn't see Kylo's hand grabbing his wrist before stealing Poe's sword and throwing Poe to the ground, his full body on him to make him rest there. Soon, two swords were crossed at their blades under Poe's throat. The young Prince swallowed with difficulty, feeling ashamed to have been defeated so easily and even more ashamed to feel his body arching to make contact with Kylo's.

Kylo was looking at him, his chest going up and down with heavy breaths. Poe's eyes glided down his muscular torso and he felt Kylo's burning eyes on his face, trying to understand what Poe was doing to him. Poe could felt Kylo's strong thighs pinning him to the ground. Poe felt overwhelmed. It was too much and not enough at the same time and Poe was frozen because he didn't know what to do with himself.

That was finally Kylo who put an end to his misery by standing up, taking the swords off of Poe's face and offering his hand to him. Poe took it and Kylo helped him up. Then he offered his sword back to Poe and Poe took it with a nod.

 

“You cheated.” Poe murmured. 

 

“That's how you stay alive.” answered Kylo, coldly before giving a small awkward smile to Poe. “You did well.” he added and Poe felt warm.

 

Poe chuckled. “You're saying that to comfort me.” 

Kylo laughed — he looked beautiful when he laughed, Poe couldn’t help but think.  “Maybe a little bit. But I have nothing better to do than to train when a prince like you have other duties.”

 

“Thank you.” said Poe, smiling, feeling really better.

 

Kylo joined his Knights who praised him and Poe felt happy to see that Kylo wasn't the kind of soldier to brag about his victories. Poe always hated this kind of behavior and to know that the man he felt such strong feelings for wasn't in this category was a relief. Poe's father put a hand on Poe's shoulder and congratulated him to have made a good fight. Poe thanked him but he wasn't expecting his father to ask Kylo to fight against him.

Kes was the best sword fighter of the Kingdom and if someone could beat Kylo, it was him. But it was a long time ago since his father felt the need to show off his skills. But apparently, something in Kylo was fascinating or at least making his father as curious about the knight than his son. Poe saw his father often looking at Kylo with a strange face, like he tried to figure out something about the knight, like he was trying to discover who the boy really was.

 

* * *

 

 

Kylo agreed to fight against the King. He couldn't really refuse it. But he wasn't expecting it. Kylo was still feeling uncomfortable in the King's presence. Not that the man was hostile to him. It was just that the King was always trying to read Kylo's mind or soul and Kylo didn't really like that. He knew that King Kes was unable to do it literally like Snoke was but Kylo felt simpler to hide from Snoke's invasions than from Kes' because the King wasn't trying to hurt him.

The King asked for them to fight like in real battles, which meant not restraining your strength and Kylo agreed. If he didn't use his all puissance with Poe, not wanting to hurt him, he knew that King Kes could fully take it. Both men got on the battlefield, facing each other with more people around them, curious to see their King fighting against one of Snoke's knights.

King Kes didn't wait and he attacked Kylo immediately, surprising him a little bit but the young Knight resumed capacity quickly and he defended himself against King Kes' harsh blows. Kylo felt a little bit amazed for a man to his age to be still so strong but he was as much as strong and Kylo knew it would be on the speed that he would win.

 

* * *

 

Kes felt the adrenaline running in his veins and he didn't felt so ecstatic like that since a long time. He deserted the Knights training sessions a long time ago, feeling the boredom to always have to fight against the same people and the younger knights not having his level. But this young boy was so different. He fought like nobody else. With a rage in him. Kes never felt so pleased to fight for the pleasure of it since Han. Han always had been a great opponent. Not much a sword fighter but Han always had this tendency to brawl, fighting like he had done since he was a kid. Han didn't follow the knighthood rules and this boy front of him was acting exactly the same. Having his safety and survival in mind before useless notions of honor and dignity.

Kes' blade scratched Kylo's biceps and blood could be seen. Kes took back his sword instantly. Kylo seemed to not even realize that he was wounded but Kes could see rage burning in his eyes, like the pain shot a new strength and fierceness in Kylo's body. His blows became stronger, harder, more brutal and Kes felt more difficult to hold his ground against him. When the boy punched him, Kes saw in the corner of his eye his knights unsheathing their swords and in response, Kylo's comrades doing the same. But Kylo was blind to all of this, his solely focus on his opponent who was now on the ground, in the exact same position that his son was few minutes earlier, at the mercy of the tip of Kylo's blade against his Adam's apple.

The boy's eyes were piercing through him and Kes understood that he had hard time to focus in reality back. Kes was familiar with this feeling. When you were in battle, your mind was focusing on your survival, your body working without thinking and it could take some time for you to find your common sense again. Kes released his sword and put his hands up to show his surrender to Kylo but also to his knights. He saw the young knight flinching but yet unable to be completely back to him. So Kes grabbed Kylo's arm, his fingers soon full of Kylo's blood and he pressed. The young man was finally back to him and quickly, he took back his blade from Kes' neck.

 

Kylo helped the King to get up and in silence, left the battlefield without a glance at anybody. Poe looked at the man leaving with confusion and sadness before coming to his father, asking for his well-being and Kes comforted him with a sweet smile, feeling grateful to have such a sweet boy as his son. Rey joined them, already rambling against Kylo and Kes didn't listen to her but reassured his knights that everything was alright and that everybody could go back to their own business. They obeyed without a word.

 

* * *

  
  


Kylo was alone in the arsenal, cleaning his wound and trying to bandage it. He needed time alone after what happened. It was usual for him but it was with somebody who didn't know about it, not like his knights. King Kes probably distrusted him now and Poe probably hated him to have been so close to hurt this father he was loving so much. Kylo sighed deeply before someone took the bandage from his hand and Kylo grabbed a dagger.

 

“You will have no use for that.” said King Kes, chuckling, and Kylo didn't answer, hiding behind his hair. It was certainly time for his punishment and he was ready to accept it.

“I'm sorry, Your Majesty!” said Kylo without looking to the sovereign.

“For what?” asked Kes and Kylo felt surprised to hear no anger in it. “You won this fight fairly.”

“I shouldn't have threatened you.” Kylo said.

“Never excuse yourself for being the best fighter, my boy!” said Kes and Kylo felt so strange.  _ My boy.  _ Snoke was often using these words. Usually when he wanted to remind him what he owned to him. But there, in King Kes' voice, there was only affection and no disappointment. “I was pleased to finally find a worthy opponent.” he added with a tender smile and and Kylo smiled back shyly. King Kes was someone really great and he was feeling good with him. Poe had a lot of chance to have a father like him and Kylo could see from who the Prince got this kindness.

“Your son is a good sword fighter.” said Kylo after a too long silence for his comfort while King Kes was bandaging his arm.

“Poe can hold his ground well but he always has been a better rider. Like his mother.” answered the King with a conspiratorial tone and Kylo felt awkwardly moved by this complicity even if he knew it was just King Kes being his usual self.

“All done.” said the sovereign when he finished his task and Kylo whispered a  _ thank you _ . “That's normal. I was the one wounding you.” he added.

 

* * *

 

King Kes was already putting away the mess Kylo did while trying to find something to tend his arm. Kylo grabbed his sword and bowed before taking his leave. Kes was watching the boy coming to the stairs when he turned back to face him.

 

“Did I do something to upset you?” asked the knight, obviously nervous.

Kes felt surprised. He thought he has made a better job to hide his feelings towards the young man but it looked like he failed and Kylo took it the wrong way.

 

“You did nothing wrong.” answered Kes with a sad smile. “You just remind me of someone.” he added.

“An enemy?” asked Kylo and Kes felt hurt to realize that the boy had been raised up like that, thinking that everybody was an enemy before being a friend.

“An old friend of mine.” answered the King.

“You loved him?” asked Kylo, his fingers caressing his own sword, needing to do something to reassure himself.

“With all my heart.” said Kes, not hesitating a single second.

“Where is he now?” asked the boy shyly.

“He has been killed.”

“By my king?” asked the boy after a minute. Kes looked at him and he saw on his face that the boy was already knowing the answer. And yet he was still ready to face the truth.

“Yes.” whispered Kes and he tried to swallow back his tears.

 

Kylo nodded, trying to take the whole measure of this. It was maybe the first time that the boy had the confirmation that his king was a murderer.

 

“It will change nothing but... I'm sorry.” breathed out the boy. “For everything he did to you.” he said. “It means nothing but — ”

“No.” said the king. “Knowing that one still can have a heart like yours around Snoke is quite enough for me.” added Kes and he saw the boy blushing and not believing his words.

 

Kylo was ready to answer back, probably something self-deprecating but Finn came down the stairs, looking for his comrade. The young man stammered when he saw the King before saluting him.

 

“Kylo ! The Prince and the Princess are asking if you want to join us for a ride.”

 

Kylo looked at the King, probably wondering if it was all right for him to spend so much time with the Prince at his father's acknowledge. Kes smiled to both boys and with a nod, gave the permission for Kylo to join Poe. Soon, he was alone in the room, Finn dragging Kylo outside.

 

* * *

 

Kes finally let out a shaky breath. He felt so close to this boy and he was fearing that what he was suspecting was the truth. He was hoping with all his heart for it but also hoping for him to be wrong. It would be too cruel, too awful to realize that all these years he could have done something, that he gave up too early, that he didn't fight enough. Seeing the boy’s blood on his hand, Kes felt nauseous.

He walked to a basin, letting the water cleaning the blood away. He looked back when two hands took his and helped him to wash. Kes looked up to see the beautiful face of his Queen, her sweet eyes looking at him with worry. When she wiped away tears from his cheeks, he realized that he was crying since Kylo left him. Shara still caressing his cheekbone, rest her forehead against his.

 

“He is Han's child.” sobbed Kes, pressing Shara's hand in his.

“I know.”


	7. Riding Lessons

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Poe and Kylo go riding, and Poe tries to sort out his feelings.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I own nothing. 
> 
> Author's Notes: Special thanks to MidgardianNerd for her ideas.

The ride was interesting. And by interesting, Kylo thought, it was awkward. The princess didn’t seem fond of him, and Kylo couldn’t say he thought highly of her either. Arrogant, cold, unyielding. He had met his share of people like that, and he was more than used to it. She was beautiful, Kylo had no doubt, but she was cold as well.

The prince, on the other hand, seemed to like him, seemed to be exceedingly friendly to him. There was something about being in his presence that, like his father’s, was like being in the presence of sunlight. His laughter. His smiles. His sparkling eyes. And then there was the way he looked at Kylo, when Kylo had defeated him and the prince had looked up at him with...

Desire? For him?

Kylo probably had to be deceiving himself. He wasn’t desirable. Some in the court back at home had made that clear enough, never out loud, but definitely with thoughts like _ugly thing_. His nose was too large, his ears were too large, and his whole body was too large and meaty and yet, judging from the prince’s reactions, he seemed to love it. And their brief proximity of Kylo to the prince seemed to have brought out some additional reactions, judging from just the way the prince looked at him.

He felt heat rush into his cheeks despite himself. Not an unpleasant heat, though, all things considered.

Right now, the princess was deep in conversation with Finn, and Kylo couldn’t help but be relieved. Thank God. He doubted that he wanted to speak with her. So exceedingly arrogant, so cold. The prince, on the other hand, was more than engaged in the conversation. Kylo already felt guilty for not engaging in as much conversation as he would like with the prince — the prince was trying desperately to let himself in to Kylo’s life, though, and Kylo couldn’t say that he was really used to it. Letting people into his life wasn’t something that Kylo simply did, after all.

“Do you often go riding?” said Poe.

“Not for pleasure,” Kylo said. There was something about it that was comforting when he did ride for pleasure — the excitement sweeping through his veins, the wind whipping his hair, things of that nature. “Not often.”

“You should,” said Poe. “There’s something about it that’s...wonderful. Just being out in nature, away from just about everything.” Kylo nodded. He couldn’t deny something like that. Just the joys of when he did go out riding. “It’s truly beautiful.” Poe sighed in delight even as he spoke. “It is.”

And there was something about the way Poe’s eyes closed a bit and he sighed that made Kylo focus on his long lashes, contrasting with coppery skin. Poe opened his eyes to look at Kylo before saying, “So, your fighting...that was some fighting.”

“I’ve practiced.” Kylo said.

“Have you?” Poe said.

“My lord taught me many things in the course of combat. I wasn’t always good. As a boy, I was...a flawed fighter. I can remember that my lord was...unhappy with that.” It had been one of many instances where Snoke had chastised him, when he had pushed him to the limits even beyond injury.

Poe nodded. “Was he?”

“Yes. I remember one time when I lost a fight, and he was furious. He said that he trusted me, and I disappointed the kingdom.” Kylo paused. “I was taught to fight beyond injury, and...I think I was so lost in it I hurt your father. I am sorry.”

“Honestly, I was very worried for you,” Poe said. “If you were well.”

“Are you angry?”

“Relieved, not angry. There is a difference.”

Somehow, there was something about this that comforted Kylo. Poe was far from angry with him.

“Thank you.” he said.

“It’s no issue.”

Poe smiled at him, and Kylo felt the remnants of his anxiety clear in that moment. “You are a good fighter, Sir Ren.”

“You...don’t need to call me that. My name is Kylo.”

“All right then. Kylo.”

Even hearing all of this in Poe’s voice, the strong _ky_ , the soft _lo_...Kylo didn’t think that his own name would sound like music, but with Poe’s voice, it truly did. “Call me Poe, then.” Poe. Such a simple name, yet so melodic. “Very well...Poe.” Even the name, on Kylo’s lips, sounded lovely.

“I actually have a question for you.” Poe said. Across from them, Rey and Finn were still, mercifully, engrossed in their conversation, and Kylo couldn’t help but notice that she had a sort of ease around Finn that she didn’t have around Poe. Interesting.

“By all means.”

“You don’t seem...comfortable with me at times.”

“It’s not you,” Kylo said. “It’s far from you. I merely don’t...I don’t let people in very easily.”

“You don’t?”

“I don’t. My Knights I’ve known since I was a boy, so I haven’t much choice, but others are...easier to shut out.”

“Oh. So it has nothing to do with my company?”

“Nothing.” Kylo said.

“That’s good to hear. So how can you let me in?”

Kylo smiled faintly. “Now is as good a time as any. Your father told me how accomplished you are at riding. Can you show me?”

“We can race, if you like.”

“Yes.”

And even later, racing across the forest, there was something about just being on a horse again that made Kylo remember how he missed just riding for fun. Poe rode like he was born for it, meanwhile. Rode with his princely robes flapping in the wind and Kylo couldn’t help but realize that he was positively radiant. It was a close race, but Poe won, and Kylo couldn’t say that he held any sort of grudge. Poe was just ridiculously accomplished at riding. That was a fact.

Poe dismounted, and he was sweaty, but even sweaty, he looked lovely. Like a roguish adventurer, perhaps, Kylo couldn’t help but think.

“You did beautifully,” he said.

“Thank you.” Poe said. “So did you.”

***

To say that today had been quite a day was putting it mildly, perhaps. Even long after Poe had bathed and dressed for bed, he couldn’t help but think back to the way that Kylo had looked at him after the horse race, like there was something about him that was all but wondrous, and the way Kylo had him pinned under him, almost straddling him. How his body had responded. How Kylo had looked, his eyes...

Poe tried to sleep. He truly tried. And yet he couldn’t help but think back to the incident. It wasn’t right; he had someone he was yet to marry, after all! When he was unable to sleep because he was in the grips of arousal, at least he should be thinking about her. He tried. Tried thinking of Rey, her radiant smile, her dark eyes, but he couldn’t. All he was thinking of now was Kylo. Kylo, with his brown eyes, his own, frankly beautiful smile, Kylo with his powerful thighs and powerful strong body...

Poe groaned. He had to resist. Had to. And yet he needed release. He ground against the sheets in frustration, ground until he found himself coming in his sleep pants. He couldn’t get rid of the guilt that came with it afterwards. The residual feelings like, somehow, he had committed adultery even just in thought, not in action. What would Rey think? What would King Luke think?

Poe didn’t know, and those thoughts bothered him even as he slipped into sleep reluctantly, filled with confused fantasies about Kylo Ren that blurred together, and when he woke, he doubted he could be more frustrated with himself.


	8. Quiproquo

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Poe and Kylo doubt and Kes tries to help them before a new threat appears.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to idrilhadhafang for the edit. Sorry if you're a Luke fan but I never have been so I'm not ashamed to make him a jerk.

When the Prince walked in the room the next morning, for breakfast, Kylo saw immediately that the man didn't get a good rest. Poe didn't even throw a look at him though when he got to sit next to the Princess and Kylo frowned. Since the moment they talked for the first time, the Prince always looked at him and sent him a smile to begin the day. And now that they were finally agreeing to be friends, he was acting like Kylo didn’t even exist. Kylo tried to not take it personally. Poe probably had other things on his mind, things more important that a simple knight like him. But yet, the coincidence was too casual.

 

* * *

 

 

Poe was feeling extremely tired this morning. All the night, his mind harassed him with images of Kylo and his body reacted a lot to them. He felt like all his body was drained from energy and his mind was still not at rest. Poe could remember too well what he felt this night and how Kylo's body felt against him from their training session. Poe felt deeply ashamed. Ashamed to feel that for Kylo and not for Rey. Ashamed to have felt pleasure from this. Ashamed because he offered his friendship to Kylo and few hours later, was already wishing for him.

Poe looked up discreetly, staring at Kylo's strong profile. And already the warmth was back in his body. He could hear Rey talking to him but he was unable to focus on the words, to understand the meaning. His mind was dazed by Kylo. How would he be to look at him again without imagining the feeling of his lips on his skin? His whole body was longing for Kylo and Poe didn't want to stay away from the knight. He was happy with Kylo. The knight was clever and cunning. He was respectful of Poe's status but not deferent like most of the people at the Dameron's court. He wasn't afraid of Poe as a prince. Probably because Snoke was a lot more terrifying than Poe in what he could do to Kylo.

And Poe was glad for that. He didn't want to inspire fear in. He wanted to inspire in him friendship and peace. It was what he wanted the most for Kylo. For him to lose this hard face he wore in front of everybody to hide his true thoughts and feelings. He wanted to offer him peace.

It took few seconds for Poe to realize that Kylo was looking at him, a scowl on his face, and Poe blushed, panicking, certain that the knight knew exactly what happened in Poe's mind. He was probably disgusted with him. Poe never thought about it, but like his people spreading tales about Snoke, Snoke probably did the same with the Damerons and probably disgusting horrible things. Like the decadence and debauchery he remembered Kylo talking about at their second ball together. Knight life was pretty much like a monastic life and Snoke probably raised his soldiers in the respect of chastity rules. Kylo would be definitely disgusted with Poe and hating him if he knew the real desires of Poe's heart. Poe looked down, avoiding losing himself in these captivating deep brown eyes.

 

* * *

 

 

Something was wrong. Kylo could feel it. Poe was avoiding him. He did it throughout the day. Kylo didn't really try to search for his company, understanding that the prince had other duties and couldn't spend all his time with Kylo. Even if he made everything to spend at last some time alone with Kylo since they met. But not today. It wasn't the fact that Poe wasn't spending time with him which was bothering Kylo. It was the fact that the prince was avoiding him. Like he decided that Kylo wasn't worth his time and energy anymore now that Kylo accepted his friendship. Like Kylo was finally nothing more than another challenge.

Kylo felt the anger rolling in his veins. How he probably found this amusing to trap the Knight, to make him risk his King's rage just to prove to them that the Damerons were better. And Kylo, like an idiot, like a child in so much need of affection and companionship fell head first in it. He was an idiot and he deserved every punishment Snoke would think for him.

He should hate him. He should hate Poe and yes, he was feeling so angry to have been fooled. But yet, what he was feeling the most was disappointment. He hasn't been enough for Poe to decide that Kylo was more interesting that an old quarrel between their respective sovereigns. He hadn't been enough for truly win Poe's friendship.

For the first time in his life, he trusted someone outside his Knights. And not for the first time of his life, he has been disappointed. He didn't deserve anything good. Snoke knew that. Poe knew that. Probably Queen Shara and King Kes knew that also. Kylo might have been fooled once but he wouldn't be anymore. It was time for him to give up any hopes of companionship and to be more than a simple knight. Because he never has been more and he would never be more. Even if, with few hours with Poe, he had begun to believe it. It was his fault, his mistake. He couldn't be trusted. Snoke was right about him. Kylo was a failure.

 

* * *

 

 

When Poe finally found back the safety of his own room after a day spent to avoid Kylo, he sighed in relief. It has been a long time since the last time he spent such an awful day. He didn't find distraction in anything. Not in books, his mind unable to focus on the words. Not in assisting his father to hear the people's complaints. Not in spending time with Rey, and the girl got fed up with him and went to join Finn.

The Prince was relieved that there wasn't any ball tonight. He wasn't sure he would have been able to avoid Kylo longer if he saw him in his dark robes, his spine straight and giving him a haughty poise. The man was so elegant, so graceful. Poe couldn't resist him longer than he already did. A day away from him and Poe already felt wrong. These last days with Kylo were so fresh, so captivating, so new. Poe never felt out of place but to feel so much fitting in time and space like he felt when he was with the Knight, it was thrilling.

 

“Was it fun ?” asked a cold voice in a dark corner of the room and Poe turned around, afraid to have someone unannounced in his bedroom.

 

Kylo was walking into some light from the candles and Poe felt safer immediately. He didn't risk anything with Kylo. Or at least, he would have felt like that if Kylo's face wasn't so closed, if his eyes weren't so cold. When Kylo came closer, Poe shivered because Kylo's eyes weren't cold. No. They were burning with fire. But not from passion like Poe imagined it last time. No. His eyes were burning from rage.

Dear Lord! Kylo discovered everything. He knew that Poe was dreaming of him to do filthy things. Poe felt afraid. Kylo was dangerous. Poe never forgot that but he never thought he would have to suffer it. And now Kylo was hating him and wanted to make him pay.

 

“Kylo!” whispered Poe, trying to find an explanation.

“Did you laugh enough?” said Kylo, still walking towards Poe and the prince stepped back to put a safe distance between them but the Knight didn't care about personal space. Soon he was so close to Poe and Poe felt awful to see Kylo so angry against him. He just wanted to offer him peace, to prove him that he could be more than just a knight, that he could be loved.

« I... » began Poe but Kylo didn't let him finish.

“IT WAS JUST A JOKE!” screamed Kylo and Poe jumped from fear while his knees knocked against his bed and Poe was now lying on it, Kylo leaning above him, his face so close to Poe's.

« A joke ? » asked Poe and he knew that he shouldn't have said anything because Kylo's jaws clenched.

« You could have let me alone. » groaned Kylo. « I was nothing before you. But you made me believe that I was worth it. » added Kylo and Poe saw anger being engulfed by sadness in these beautiful eyes, shining with tears.

« Kylo ! I didn't understand. » whispered Poe.

« I thought we were friends. I believed you. But you were just making fun of me. » whispered back Kylo and Poe wanted to reach his cheek to avoid these tears to fall down. But he did nothing. Because he was frozen. He thought that Kylo would be disgusted with him. He avoided him to protect himself. But the only thing he did was to hurt Kylo. He made everything to prove to Kylo that he was mattering and in a space of one day, he destroyed everything between them.

 

When Kylo stood up again, Poe wanted to take him in his arms, to hold him back against him and to whisper words of comfort to him, to assure him that everything he thought was wrong. But Poe did nothing. Shame pinned him down to his mattress.

 

« I should have known that I was nothing. » whispered Kylo before leaving the room, letting Poe alone with a cracked heart and no answers to how fix the gap between them.

 

* * *

 

 

Kes was walking in the dark corridors of his castle. He had another nightmare but didn't want to wake up Shara. All the celebrations were heavy for Shara and she needed all the rest she could take. So Kes deserted their bed and went to the only other place he could find peace again.

When he came in the gallery, he heard sobs and he let his steps leading him to this sad soul. When he recognized his son's face full of tears shining in the moonlight, Kes walked faster before sitting next to Poe and putting an arm around him. And it was like Poe was a child again, needing the comfort of his father when the young man buried his face in his father's chest. Kes let his son crying as much as he needed. Whatever happened, it had hurt Poe a lot.

 

« I made a terrible mistake Father. » whispered Poe and Kes whipped off the tears from his son's face.

« Is it about Sir Ren ? » asked Kes and Poe looked at him surprised. « You spent the day avoiding him. » added Kes.

« And now he thinks that I looked for his friendship just to humiliate him. » confessed Poe and Kes sighed.

 

No need to be an intellectual to understand that the young Knight had a lot of trust issues and insecurities. He was probably not used at someone showing interest in him like Poe did. Whatever the reason Poe avoided him, Kylo came to the wrong conclusion and not knowing how to handle this situation, he probably acted the wrong way too.

 

“Why did you avoid him Poe ?” asked Kes and Poe looked away, blushing. “You know that whatever would happen, I would never stop to love you my boy.” added the King, taking his son's chin in his hand to make him meet his own eyes.

“I dreamt of him.” confessed Poe in a whisper. “In a way I shouldn't have.”

“What way ?” asked Kes but Poe refused to answer to him. “In a romantic way?” asked Kes, caressing his son's cheek and he felt him nodding. « Come with me. »

 

Poe followed him, walking to his side. Kes stopped front of a fresco. He looked up and felt tears when he saw the face of Han. Kes asked for this painting after he lost the Organas. He needed a place to remember them. A place private where he could felt like Han was still there with him. He often spent time here with Poe when he was a little boy, telling to his son every single thing he could remember of his best friend. But he never felt the courage to represent little Ben in this painting. Something in himself always restrained him to ask for it. Like he couldn't face his own failure. He didn't manage to protect Ben when Han asked him to do it. Or maybe his heart never wanted to give up the hope that Ben was alive somewhere when his mind convinced him that Ben died the same night as his parents. Now he knew that his heart was right. And that Kes' mind fooled him.

 

« Why are you ashamed of your own thoughts Poe ? » asked Kes.

« Because I shouldn't think like that about Kylo. Not about him. » answered Poe in despair.

« Contrary to Rey ? » asked Kes, frowning.

« Yes. » breathed out Poe.

 

Kes sighed. It was becoming insane. He should never have let Luke put this idea in Poe's mind that Rey and he had to wed. It was too much pressure and awful to do that to both young people. They were young, free in a prosperous kingdom. Luke should give them the right to fall in love with whoever they want. Luke was without a kingdom. Kes gave him shelter because he was Leia's brother. So a wedding between Rey and Poe would bring nothing to the Dameron's kingdom. Nothing. But Luke seemed to think that Rey needed to have a kingdom at all costs and he was ready to sacrifice his own daughter for that. But Kes wasn't ready to let him sacrifice his son. Even more now that he was sure Poe was able to fall in love. But not with Rey.

 

“When you will be a king, you will understand how difficult it is to rule.” began Kes and he knew that he had Poe's full attention. The boy was always ready to prove to his father that he took his future position very seriously. « You will need someone next to you to support you every day of this life. You will need someone able to understand what ruling means but also someone who shares your beliefs. Someone you trust with your mind, your heart and your soul. Do you think that Rey could be this person to you ? » asked Kes.

« I don't think so. » whispered back Poe and Kes took his hands in his. « But I can't do that to Rey and to King Luke. I made a promise. I can't break it. » added Poe, crying and Kes felt anger for Luke and deeply sadness for his son.

« It's your decision Poe. But promise me something. »

« Anything Father. » answered immediately the young man.

« Let your mind advise you. But never forget that it's your heart which has to make the final decision. » said Kes. « Always. » he added, pointing Poe's heart with a finger.

« I promise you, Father. » whispered Poe and Kes kissed his forehead before letting his son alone, joining back Shara while Poe was still admiring Han Solo and Leia Organa's faces.

 

* * *

 

 

Kylo was particularly angry today. He was mediocre at their training session and his fight with Poe was still taunting him. He felt awful with himself to have reacted so bad. He saw how Poe was afraid of him while he was above him and yes, he was angry but he didn't need to give more reasons to Poe to think that he was right to do what he did to Kylo. And there was also this feeling that something between them was left unsaid. Something which could fix everything or make it worse.

But Kylo was unable to get over this feeling that Poe did all of this to mock him, to hurt him. He would have wished to be wrong but he didn't trust his gut which told him to stay away from Poe the first time and he would never not listen to it again. He could only trust him. Nobody else. No matter how much he has wanted to believe it.

Kylo was lost in his thoughts while walking towards his own room when he felt someone catching his arm and sticking him to the wall. Kylo reacted without thinking and he grabbed his attacker, reversing their positions and blocking him with an arm on his throat. When he recognized Poe's handsome face, he took off his arm instantly. They were on not good terms anymore but he didn't want to hurt him and King Kes would probably not be really happy if one of Snoke's Knights assaulted his son. Kylo was ready to leave when Poe grabbed his biceps and pressed Kylo's body back against his.

Kylo froze. During the training session, he felt Poe's body but not enough to feel every inch of him. But there, he couldn't escape the feeling of a smaller but still muscular body against his. Kylo let out a shaky breath and Poe looked up at him with dark eyes. Their faces were so close and Kylo could felt the warmth of Poe's skin.

“What do you want ?” said Kylo, struggling against Poe’s body. In spite of himself, he couldn’t help but feel a certain warmth in him that he just shouldn’t be feeling.

“I never sought out your company to mock you, Kylo.” said Poe, his eyes drifting on Kylo's features. “I was sincere when I said I wanted us to be friends.”

“So why did you avoid me?” asked Kylo and he hated himself to sound so broken, so vulnerable. He didn't need to give more ammunitions for Poe to hurt him.

“Because I feared you would be disgusted with me.” confessed Poe and Kylo frowned, confused.

“Why would I be ? You always have been good with me.” said Kylo in a whisper.

“Because...because I'm not only seeking... friendship. From you.” said a nervous Poe, looking down and Kylo took a minute to realize what he meant by that.

“Oh !”

“I'm not asking you to do anything about that. I'm just asking for your forgiveness.” the Prince added quickly and Kylo nodded, still trying to understand what Poe's confession fully meant.

Poe was shifting uncomfortably under Kylo's body and the Knight took a step back.

 

“I should be the one asking for forgiveness.” said Kylo, putting an hand on Poe's shoulder and the young man looked up at him.

“What for ?”

“Because I reacted badly. And because I scared you. Last night. In your room.” answered Kylo, awkwardly.

“No. You did nothing wrong.” said Poe.

“I did.” answered Kylo and he obligated Poe to agree with an insistent look.

“So... we're still friends ?” Poe asked tentatively. 

“I really matter to you?” said Kylo, needing to hear Poe confirming their mutual affection.

“A lot.” said Poe, his hands on Kylo's chest.

“So we're friends, Poe.” said Kylo, smiling, resting one of his hands on Poe's hands, where they rested on his chest.

Poe smiled brightly to him and Kylo felt better than he has been in the last two days, realizing now how he got used to Poe smiling to him.

 

“My mother needs me to organize the ball.” whispered Poe and Kylo nodded, understanding that they would spend time together later.

 

Poe smiled again and after few seconds of hesitation, he stood on his tiptoes to kiss Kylo's cheek. In the minute, he was running away from Kylo, the Knight standing stunned in the middle of the corridor, his fingers touching his own cheeks.

 

* * *

 

 

Kylo was finally moving, not wanting anyone to witness his foolish reaction to Poe's kiss. Further in the corridor, he crossed the path of an older man, someone he recognized as King Luke, this one being particularly vehement against Snoke. Kylo nodded to salute him but the man grabbed his arm, ordering to Kylo to stop.

Kylo looked at these blue eyes full of anger against Kylo. They reminded him of Snoke's eyes. Kylo could feel the body of the King without kingdom shaking in rage and Kylo couldn't understand what he did to deserve so much hate from a man he even never talked with. But he knew that he wouldn't like what King Luke would say to him when he opened his mouth.

 

“Stay far away from Poe.” said the older man and Kylo didn't flinch under this stare. He was used to people hating him for no reason. He was used to be lashing out with words. He suffered it all his life without saying anything, always taking the blows without surrendering. He faced Snoke for as long as his mind could remember. He wasn't afraid of this man.

“That's not your concern.” said the knight and King Luke's grip on his arm tightened, not enough to hurt but enough to discomfort him.

“He will marry Rey. A princess. A future queen. You're nothing.” added the man and Kylo felt the warmth Poe put in his heart melting like snow under sun to be replaced by pure coldness.

“I'm someone for Poe.” said Kylo, taking King Luke's hand out of his arm and maybe crushing it a little bit in the process. “And that's enough for me.” he finished, throwing away the older man's hand.

 

Without a look for him, Kylo left him, feeling hateful eyes piercing through his back. He was important for Poe. What this man thought of Kylo didn’t matter.  


	9. Confrontation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Poe and Kylo learn their steps for the ball, and Luke is the master of inappropriate timing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I own nothing.
> 
> Author’s Notes: Thank you so so much to MidgardianNerd for helping with the conversation between Poe, Kylo and Luke. (Literally, she typed a lot of it into Google docs, I just helped edit it) As ever, she is awesome!

Setting up for the ball took time, but eventually, Poe found more time to spend with Kylo, much to Kylo’s delight. Even waiting in Poe’s room for him, Kylo couldn’t help but feel his heart quicken, and his breathing hitch. It was probably nothing unusual; after all, he simply enjoyed Poe’s company, didn’t he? He enjoyed Poe’s company. That was all.

He couldn’t help but think about what Poe had said. About seeking more than friendship from him. And he felt something in him suddenly flutter — and yet, he wondered, did he feel the same way? Or was it a case of being so starved of affection that he was throwing himself at the nearest man who was willing to give him even crumbs of it? And yet, Poe...

There was something about Poe that was captivating. His long, elegant neck. His expressive brown eyes. The way he laughed. The way he almost always seemed to be cheerful and happy. His kindness to everyone. His wit, which sparkled like diamonds. Of course, there was an obstacle in the way — Rey. And Kylo couldn’t help but feel suddenly, irrationally jealous, like all of Rey’s irritating qualities only got worse.

Footsteps. Poe arrived, and though he looked exhausted, there was still a faint smile tugging at the corner of his lips. He startled the moment he saw Kylo, only to compose himself quickly.

“You’ve been waiting for me the whole time?” Poe said.

Kylo nodded.

“Right. Just...you startled me is all.”

“My apologies, Poe.”

They stood in the room together, and Kylo was keenly aware of Poe’s proximity in that moment. How close he was, how much shorter he was than Kylo. There was something about how much shorter he was than Kylo that made Kylo feel almost self-conscious. He was always aware of his height but here, he realized, he was practically huge next to the relatively short, deceptively delicate-looking prince.

“So I was thinking,” Poe said, “We could practice for the ball together. Practice our steps. I don’t want to get too rusty.”

“You won’t.” Kylo stepped forward and said, “May I start?”

“Just take my waist.” And there was something about the way Poe said it where Kylo swore there was something nervous in there — like a maid in love. Kylo took Poe’s waist, and the prince’s breathing hitched. They were so close. Kylo looked into the prince’s eyes, and they looked at him, captivated, like Kylo was brighter than anything else in that room and nothing else could compare to him.

The dance steps started, and it was like they flowed together. They stepped to the side, the back, the front, one two three one two three. Kylo looked into the prince’s eyes, and he realized how brown, how lovely they were.

“Remember what you said, about wanting more than friendship?” he said.

Poe nodded.

“What do you mean? Do you mean what I think you do?”

Poe swallowed. “Well...yes. And I shouldn’t want this. I mean, I’m engaged...”

“Why are you engaged anyway?”

“King Luke believes it’s for the good of both kingdoms. But...” Poe looked away. “I shouldn’t even be telling you this,” he said, “But I don’t feel comfortable with courting. Not...not like this. And Princess Rey is a good person without a doubt, but I don’t feel...I don’t feel...”

He broke off, and looked away. He looked outright ashamed, and it hurt Kylo’s heart to see. Poe shouldn’t be ashamed. Not like this.

“You don’t feel the same for her as...you do for me?” Even saying it out loud was something Kylo couldn’t believe.

“No.” Poe said. “I don’t feel the same for her. You’re captivating. You’re beautiful — ’’

Kylo shook his head.

“Yes. Even seeing you at the White Spring Ball...you were so beautiful. You’re still beautiful.”

“Am I?”

“Yes.”

Kylo’s breathing hitched. “Tell me more.”

Poe nodded. Then, “I can’t resist when you look at me like that.”

They continued to dance, and Poe said, “You move so gracefully. The way you dance...it’s like you’ve known how to your whole life.”

“I’ve been taught.”

“Have you?”

“My lord always saw balls as more of an obligation, but he had others teach me to dance.”

“They must have taught you well.”

“They did.”

“I’m not terribly good with words. I am no poet — ’’

“You don’t have to be.” Kylo smiled. “I doubt I was ever sensitive to poetry, after all.”

“All right. But I have been looking at you, and...you’re very handsome.”

Kylo shook his head again. “I am not a handsome man.”

“Yes you are. More than handsome, actually. You’re beautiful.”

“Poe...”

“Yes. And every time I’m in your presence...I should be ashamed of how I imagine you.”

“Don’t be.” Kylo looked down at Poe, tenderly. “Tell me more.”

Poe swallowed. Then, “In my imaginings, I feel your lips on my skin, your arms around me, and I feel _safe_. I hear your voice and God, it’s...it’s music. I feel everything, and it’s too much, and I shouldn’t be telling you this...”

They were close. Too close. Kylo could see the threat of tears in Poe’s eyes, and his heart ached.

“What do you need, my prince?”

“Dance with me. Touch me.”

They danced, their steps mingling, and Kylo’s hands trailed over Poe’s waist even as they danced. They were so close in that moment, and Kylo was gazing into Poe’s eyes, such a dark brown, into Poe’s beautiful face.

“My prince,” Kylo said softly. “Do you have any idea what being this close does to me?”

“I have a good idea.”

They were close now, their lips drifting closer, closer...

Footsteps. They drew away quickly in that moment, only to see the man that Kylo saw earlier outside in the hall.

“Prince Poe,” said the man. “What are you doing?”

Kylo was about to retort, only for Poe to say, “I was teaching Kylo his steps for the ball.” All in a very pleasant, polite voice. Kylo had to envy him.

“I see,” said the man. “And why aren’t you with Rey?”

“Rey’s likely off with Finn,” Poe said. “Besides, Kylo is just a friend of mine, Your Highness.”

“Friend?” The man spoke as if even the idea was inexplicable.

“Yes,” Poe said. Like they hadn’t been about to kiss earlier. Kylo felt heat rush to his cheeks thinking about it. How dangerously, perilously close they had been to kissing.

“I see,” said the man. “Why you would spend time with that man? I don’t see anything you could learn from him, except killing.”

“Poe — ’’ Kylo began, but Poe’s eyes had gone practically blazing in that moment.

“You...you have no right to say that.” said Poe. “He does his duty. As a knight.”

“The knight of a murderer.” said the man, glaring at Kylo, who glared back. “And yet, he stays at his side.”

“You think that life is so simple, Your Highness?” said Kylo. “That we all have the choice to do what is right in life? That we all can live in such a pleasant Kingdom as the one of King Dameron? You’re even more of a fool than I thought.”

“You have no right to talk to me like that.” said the other man.

“I talk to you like you deserve it. If I misjudged, I only do the same as you.” said Kylo, his eyes defiant. “You know nothing about me.”

“I know that you’re not worthy of Poe. And that Poe deserves someone better than you. It shouldn’t be difficult to find.”

“That’s enough, Your Highness.” said Poe. “Kylo is my guest here and don’t forget that you’re also a guest, not the King. My family and I will not tolerate you being disrespectful to him in our home.”

“What would your father — ’’

“You don’t have to involve yourself in our personal matters. If my father has a problem with what happens here, it’s between him and I. My father is the King. Not you.” Poe paused. “It won’t be any use telling my father even if you tried. He never liked this farce of an engagement from the start. Neither have Rey or I.”

This time, the man looked caught off guard. Then, “You really are a fool, Prince Poe. You truly are. It will be your downfall, sooner or later.”

Once he left, Poe turned to look at Kylo. “I really am sorry about that,” he said. “That was King Luke. He’s rather obsessed with getting his daughter and I to marry. Too obsessed, actually. Never mind that I never have been...drawn to women, not romantically.”

“You wish to court men?”

“I wish to,” Poe said. “Unfortunately, I doubt I can do so without hurting Rey. I don’t wish to hurt her; she is a lovely young woman.”

“I suppose.”

“She’s lovely otherwise,” Poe said. “When she’s around me, and around Finn. But she’s a friend, no more, no less. You...I confess that it’s captivating, just being around you.”

“I feel the same way.”

“If I ever courted you in the future...”

“I would accept,” Kylo said. “Though I’ve never been courted before.”

“Maybe the future would change that,” Poe said.

“What would you say to me if you were courting me?”

Poe hummed. “That you have the most beautiful brown eyes, and I can’t say ‘no’ to you just looking into them?”

“Poe...”

“And you’re strong, and valiant, and so very wounded, and I would do anything to make certain you were never wounded again?”

“Poe.” Kylo looked down at Poe, and he found the first stirrings of adoration for this man.

“I would. My shining knight...”

They danced until midnight, and even heading off to bed, Kylo thought of the kiss they nearly shared. Was it too soon to wonder what would have happened if King Luke hadn’t interrupted?

Kylo didn’t know. But he knew that he was on a new course, and there was no turning back. 


	10. Of Heroes and Heartbreak

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peace was too short for all of them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> DRAMA, DRAMA, DRAMA EVERYWHERE!!!!
> 
> Thanks to idrilhadhafang to have edit this chapter and to have help me to make Luke a more nuanced character and less a jerk.

Luke Skywalker wasn't the naive boy of his youth anymore. He lost his idealism the day his sister, his sweet beautiful Leia, his best friend and their little boy died, slaughtered by a tyrant. He knew now that sometimes you have to take questionable decisions to offer the best to people you loved. And he loved his daughter more than anything else in the world. She was his sole family now. She deserved a kingdom. To be admired and to inspire devotion. She deserved to be a queen. And Luke knew that only Poe Dameron could give her that. So there was no way Luke would let this trivial knight pervert the young prince and stealing the crown which was Rey's by right.

It was why he was there, ready to face the man who killed his whole family to preserve the only person he still had. Luke was waiting in the corridor, far away from the fuss that the preparation for the evening ball was generating. The old man was trying to shut down his heart revolting at the idea of meeting Snoke. The King appeared at this other side of the corridor, escorted by two red Praetorian guards. And all the while, Luke couldn’t shake the thought that he was making a deal with the Devil himself. Leia would be ashamed of him if she could see him now, bargaining with her murderer. 

 

“Skywalker.” said Snoke in a fake polite voice, almost fatherly, and Luke did his best to not assault him.

“Snoke.” said Luke coldly.

“You requested an audience?” asked the sovereign with a sort of smile that made Luke’s skin erupt in gooseflesh.

“Yes,” Luke said. He felt sick even saying it. “It’s about your Knight.”

“Kylo Ren.” Snoke said. “What about him ?”

“If Kylo Ren so much as  _ touches  _ Prince Poe, I will have both your heads on display in my kingdom.”

     “Violence, Your Highness? And you claim yourself to be better than me. Besides, my knight knows what is good for him. This foolish friendship is nothing. His allegiance is to me. Nobody else.” said Snoke but Luke could see the anger filling icy blue eyes.

“You should remind him of that.” said Luke with a haughty smile. “It looks like you failed with him.”

“Not any longer.” answered the older man, his cold voice sending shivers down Luke's spine.

“Prince Poe is for Rey. I will not let your puppet ruin everything I built all these years. You stole my kingdom. You will not steal my daughter’s.”

“You're still hoping that once she would be queen, your daughter would take advantage of the Dameron's army to dethrone me?” said Snoke. He laughed; it sounded like a bark. “You’re even more of a fool than I thought.”

“You destroyed my life.” said Luke while stepping towards Snoke and soon, two guards were pointing their lances to his chest. “I'm asking you to not destroy hers.”

“You know, as a Skywalker, I would be extremely pleased to destroy her like I destroyed every single one of you.” said the King. “But Sir Ren needs to remember to whom he owes his life. I will do what it takes to keep him away from the young prince.” A beat. “A pity you turned down King Palpatine’s offer. You would have made a  _ phenomenal  _ Dark Mage.”

 

And even walking away, Luke couldn’t help but feel outright repulsion at what he had done. Anger too. How dare Snoke compare him to that abomination who had corrupted his father? 

 

_ Why else would you make a deal with Snoke?  _

 

But it wasn’t making a deal, was it? Not truly. It was just making it clear to Snoke that he wasn’t to touch Poe, or let Kylo touch him. That was all, wasn’t it? 

 

Luke didn’t know. He only knew that he had made his choice, and there was no turning back. 

 

* * *

 

Kylo was walking towards the dining room, to join his comrades for breakfast. He was impatient to be there, to cross Poe's eyes and for them to share a secret that nobody else could know. It was strange for Kylo to feel so content with himself, not worrying about what Snoke could do to him, knowing that someone was waiting for him. With Poe at his side, he felt safe.

In the second following this thought, Kylo was grabbed by the throat and his back hit the wall hard, his head screaming in pain. He could feel his feet not touching the floor anymore and when he was finally able to focus again, he discovered the face of his King a few inches from his. Snoke tightened his grip on Kylo's throat and the Knight felt the air being crushed from his lungs.

 

“Don't forget that I own you.” whispered Snoke, his hot breath against Kylo's face and the young knight felt fear paralyzing him. “You're mine and only mine.  You belong to me. And to nobody else.” Pain shot through Kylo’s skull and spots danced in front of his vision, and no matter how he tried to scream, no sound came out. 

 

Snoke took his hand from Kylo's throat and the young man fell on the ground, trying to regain his breath. There were tears in his eyes, of pain and of fear. He thought that his punishment was over but Snoke grabbed his head between his both hands and made him half stand up, his whole body screaming in agony.

 

“We leave this sinful kingdom tomorrow. And since there, you will not talk to this childish prince again.” said Snoke, his hands crushing Kylo's face.

 

Kylo looked at him, his eyes full of defiance. Snoke was his king but Kylo never chose him. If he had to choose a sovereign, he would chose Poe and his father because they were deeply good and not a tyrant like Snoke. They only showed kindness to Kylo, Poe giving him even more. Something he never dreamt of. But also something he didn't want to give up now that he tasted it.

 

“Obey me, my boy. Or I will give you no reason to defy me anymore.” whispered the King, his thumb caressing Kylo's cheekbone and the young man shivered in discomfort. “You know what I'm able to do.”

 

He knew. He knew too well. He saw from his own eyes Snoke destroying kingdoms without even a blink, just for the pleasure to watch the world burning. Kylo never took a part in the worst ones, being a child at the time. But he grew up with the tales. He knew because Snoke always told them with pride how he slaughtered their families, the own families of the young men who were serving him now, told them how they owed their life and safety to him. Because he had mercy for them when he could have killed them all.

Kylo couldn't bear the idea of Snoke turning his rage on the Dameron Kingdom, slaying all these people living in peace, taking his time to torture Poe and his parents just to teach a lesson to Kylo. Poe sought peace for everybody but Kylo could only bring him war and death. Kylo should have known. He was nothing good for Poe.

 

“You always have been a clever boy.” said Snoke with an almost fond smile when he saw Kylo's defeat in his eyes.

 

Then he threw Kylo again on the floor and left him alone in the corridor without a look for him. Kylo took deep breaths and tried to swallow his tears. It was over. Everything was over. Poe and he, it would never happen. Kylo's past belonged to Snoke. Kylo's present belonged to Snoke. And unfortunately, Kylo's future belonged to Snoke.

 

* * *

 

Poe began to feel frustrated. He spent the whole day planning this ball with his mother, trying to help her at his best though he didn't have the time to talk with Kylo and now, King Luke tried to keep him far away of the Knight, presenting Poe to a lot of people who he already knew but who were too happy to have the heir in their presence. And of course, Rey was as always the dutiful daughter, and always thinking that her father was wonderful, played along with him, dragging Poe with her to play the perfect couple. Poe liked her but he was close to lashing out at her, wanting to make her realize that it was ridiculous, that both of them together was nonsense and would just make them unhappy for their whole lives.

He tried to catch Kylo's eye, but the knight was alone in a corner of the room, refusing to look at anybody and Poe could feel that something was wrong. Kylo looked like he was trying to erase his own presence, to make himself disappear in the shadows of the wall. Poe didn't like that. They were finally honest with each other: no more lies, no more misunderstandings. Both of them knowing what they were feeling for each other and knowing that they wanted more.

Poe looked at Luke and saw him in a courteous conversation with a Lady, taking pride in Rey and Poe decided it was his best chance. He was ready to leave them as discreetly as possible to join Kylo when someone grabbed his arm. Then, King Luke dragged Poe and Rey at the center of the room, to be everybody's attention.

 

“My friends!” said Luke, smiling broadly. “You all know how we waited for this day since a long long time. Since both of these younglings were children.”

 

Poe felt his heart stopping. No ! No no no no ! Luke couldn't do that. He couldn't make these people witnesses of Rey and his engagement, making it impossible for Poe to break it after. Poe looked at Rey who was frowning, not yet realizing what her father was doing but a little bit uncomfortable. Poe tried to find Kylo in this crowd but he only saw his parents, looking at him with shock and panic, both of them having understood what their guest was doing. He saw his father pushing through the crowd, trying to reach Luke before it was too late. Poe prayed for him to be there in time. And then, he finally caught Kylo’s eye.

The Knight was looking straight into Poe's eyes but his face showed no happiness. There was just resignation like he had known that this day would happen and already accepted losing Poe. Poe wanted to scream, to beg him to not give up on him yet. They would fix everything. His father would fix everything. Kes would offer a shelter for Kylo, far away from Snoke, at Poe's side. They could be together. They still could have a future together.

 

“To the engagement of Prince Poe and Princess Rey!” said Luke, raising his glass and everybody followed his example, cheering for the newly engaged couple. 

 

* * *

 

Kylo saw Poe disappearing behind a crowd offering to Rey and him their congratulations. The Knight sighed. He should have known that it was just a dream. Even if he didn't doubt anymore that Poe wanted him, that Poe didn't want to wed the girl, even if he witnessed Poe's panicked eyes searching for him, Kylo knew it was time for him to say farewell to Poe and what they could have been. It was over. Even before it had begun.

Kylo saw Finn looking like the world had crashed down on him when he heard the engagement of the Princess with Poe. The poor Knight believed even more than Kylo. And he remembered what Snoke did to him. What would he do if he found out that Finn was sharing a mutual affection with the young Skywalker ? He would probably kill him or worse, manipulate him, making him into a monster in order to destroy the young girl and to end the Skywalker lineage. Kylo couldn't have Poe anymore, but he still had his knights and he still could be loyal to them over Snoke.

 

“We're not from their world, Finn.” said Kylo, not looking at Finn but the young man nodded, trying to hide his sadness and failed miserably. “Don't forget that our world is too dangerous for these kind of feelings.” Kylo squeezes Finn’s shoulder even as he spoke. 

 

He wasn't lying but he hated to be such a hypocrite. Not when he wanted to believe as much as Finn during the last few days, only to finally having all his dreams being crushed in few seconds. If he could spare Finn, sounding callous was not so unbearable. He left the young man trying to recover from a broken heart alone, fleeing to try to tend without really hope his own.

 

* * *

 

 

Shara left the ballroom as soon as she could. If she had one more person presenting their congratulations, she would have murdered them. What happened to Luke? He didn't have the right to do that. To act like he was the real King of this kingdom. Like Poe was his own son and Shara and Kes had no say in this. And now he was swaggering through the guests, dragging Poe and Rey along in his wake. 

Poor Poe. She knew in her heart that he wasn't in love with Rey and now Luke was jailing him in a wedding Poe didn't want. She needed to do something. She needed to talk to Kes and for them to find a way to deny this engagement without ruining Luke and Rey's reputation. But right now, she needed to stay far away from Luke or she would punch him.

Her steps led her to her favorite garden and she felt instantly better. There she could think and find a way to save her son's heart. She didn't expect to see someone already taking her spot on the bench. She recognized the young Knight that Poe was so fond of. Kylo. The young man was sat on the bench, his eyes focused on the white flower between his fingers.

 

“Sir Ren!” she exclaimed when she sat next to him and the boy looked up at her, the tears he was refusing to shed making his eyes shine in the moonlight. “Are you all right?” she asked, putting a hand on his arm. The boy leaned into her hand almost like he didn’t realize he was doing it. 

“I'm all right, Your Majesty.” said the knight, a sad smile on his lips. “I just wanted to say goodbye to this beautiful garden.” he added.

“You're leaving?” asked Shara, surprised. She thought the boy would have done everything in his power to stay longer with Poe.

“My King informed me that we're leaving tomorrow. He is done with his business. I have nothing more to do here.” said Kylo, trying to convince himself.

“Do you really want to leave us ? Did we do something to displease you ?” asked the Queen.

 

She didn’t want him to leave. Not only for Poe but also for her and Kes. Since both of them got the conviction that he was Han's son, she felt like the burden of their hearts was finally going away. And the boy needed to know his origins, who were his parents and how much they loved him, how much he deserved more than Snoke.

 

“No, my Queen. You and your family have been too kind with me. My place isn't there anymore.” said the boy, pressing Shara's hands in his, a gesture that his father did so many times for Shara and she felt Han's loss like at the first day and the need to have his child staying there with them, where she could protect him.

“You could have a place here.” she answered quickly, maybe a little bit desperate.

“No. I don't.” whispered Kylo, looking down to the flower on his lap and Shara followed his eyes.

“Is it about Poe ? He doesn't want this wedding you know.”

A faint smile came across Kylo’s face. “I know.” he said. “But Poe and I...it was just a dream. He has his life here and I have my life at...home.”

 

Shara felt her heart break when she heard how much this simple word,  _ home,  _ felt so unnatural in Kylo's mouth. Snoke's kingdom wasn't his home. He knew that. And he knew that Shara knew it too. But these brown eyes, still full of tears, were begging her to not try anymore. His heart was longing to stay there with them, Shara could feel it. But the boy had apparently a good reason to get back at Snoke's side and Shara could respect that, even if she couldn't accept it.

Kylo stood up and bowed.

 

“Congratulations on the engagement of your son.” said the young man, his voice struggling to get out.

“Thank you Sir Ren!” answered Shara, a sad smile on her lips while she was watching him leaving. “Wait!” she called and the man stopped instantly, turning around to face her.

 

She walked towards him before placing the white flower in his hand. The boy looked at her, confused.

 

“Dreams are made to become true.” she said, caressing the young man's cheek to wipe away a tear.

“Thank you.” he whispered before bowing to kiss her hand.

 

And then he left her alone, with her anger towards Luke still intact, even more after he broke two hearts this night.

 

* * *

 

 

Kes smiled kindly to the people presenting to him their congratulations but his mind was focusing one a sole target: Luke Skywalker. Kes supported all Luke's complaints and fancy ideas all these years without saying anything because Luke lost Leia like Kes lost Han. Both of them shared this grief. But Luke had gone too far this time. Poe wouldn't pay for his dreams of past glory and need to assure the future of his daughter.

Not caring about the scandal he could cause, Kes grabbed Luke's arm and dragged him outside the ballroom. Once he released him, Luke threw him an offended glance. He should be grateful that Kes was the one facing him and not Shara. From the Damerons, he certainly was in front of the most diplomatic one.

 

“What did you do ?” groaned Kes.

“What you should have done a long time ago, Kes. It was time for them to do their engagement official.” answered Luke and Kes didn't appreciate the haughty look his guest threw to him.

“You had no right to do that without telling us or Rey and Poe.” said Kes, trying to stay calm, but his patience was growing thin.

“They don't have- ” began Luke but Kes interrupted him instantly.

“Of course they have the right to give their opinion!” said Kes. “You can't possibly be okay with ruining their lives.”

“Don't be so dramatic, Kes! A wedding wouldn't ruin their lives.”

“Tell me, Luke ! Why did Leia have the right to marry for love ? Why did I have the right to marry for love ? And why did you have the right to marry for love  but not them ? Why are you asking them to do a sacrifice that you can't even understand ?”

 

Luke refused to answer to him.

 

“I want to know the real reason Luke. Why now?” asked Kes, crossing his arms on his chest.

“Snoke is manipulating you. All of you. He will destroy your kingdom because it will be Rey's kingdom and -- ” Kes stepped in front of him and cut him off. 

“First, it will be Poe's kingdom, not Rey's. Second, all of this is about Kylo ?”

“This knight is manipulating your son and you let him doing it.” said Luke.

“Luke ! This boy is good.” pleaded the King but he could see that Luke was refusing to listen to him.

« He is evil. As is his master. » shouted Luke and Kes realized that the hate his friend felt for Snoke would never permit him to see the truth, to see that the boy he was hating so much was his beloved nephew, was the son of Leia and Han. Luke would call it a sham and do everything to destroy Kylo. Kes couldn't let him doing that. He should protect Kylo at all costs because he didn't manage to protect Ben and it was his fault that his godson was living this miserable existence now.

 

This conversation was going nowhere. Luke couldn't be reasoned with. Kes and Shara would be the only ones able to do something for their boys.

 

“Poe will not marry Rey.” said Kes and Luke was ready to protest. “He isn't in love with her.” added the King. “He loves him.”

“Some things are more important than love.” said Luke.

“You sound like Snoke.” said Kes and he left without a look for the shocked face of his friend.

 

* * *

 

Poe finally managed to flee the ballroom and now he was walking in the corridors, looking for Kylo. He needed to find him and to explain to him everything. And to assure him that he will find a way to fix this. If he wasn't sure of not wanting this wedding before, now he knew. He couldn't marry Rey. He didn't want that and judging by how Rey's face got brighter when she saw Finn, he was sure that she didn't want that too.

Poe walked in a new corridor only to freeze when he saw Kylo at the other end. The Knight stopped to walk and both men looked at each other. Poe smiled shyly and began to walk towards Kylo but the young man turned his back to him and left. Poe felt his heart crying in pain. Kylo was leaving him. Poe couldn't let him do that. He couldn't let his chance to happiness and love, maybe like the one his parents knew, disappearing. Deep inside himself, he knew that Kylo was this chance.

Poe ran after him and managed to grab his arm but Kylo was still refusing to face him. Poe came in front of his friend, taking his hand in his and searching for Kylo's beautiful eyes. But the man was still denying him this. So Poe took Kylo's face in his hands and obligated him to look at him.

 

“It means nothing, Kylo.” whispered Poe, tears threatening to fall on his cheeks. “I know I doubted before but now I know what I want. And that's you.” he said with a smile.

 

He felt Kylo's body shaking at this revelation and his breath hitching. But there was no smile answering to him, only tears finally rolling down Kylo's handsome face. Kylo took Poe's hands off from his face.

 

“It's over Poe.” whispered the man and Poe could hear the sobs in his voice. “You and I. It was never meant to be.”

“No.” said Poe. He refused to believe that Kylo was truly believing that. “It was real. It's real.” added Poe, grabbing Kylo's tunic by his chest. He couldn't leave him but yet Kylo was already stepping back.

“I'm sorry, Poe.” whispered Kylo and his thumb caressed Poe's fingers one last time before leaving him.

“We were supposed to dance together.” said Poe, trying to keep him close to him and Kylo stopped to walk and Poe felt hope filling his heart again _,_ praying for Kylo to turn around.

“Your betrothed is waiting for you.” answered Kylo without looking at Poe.

 

The man left the corridor, his steps echoing against the walls and the sound of it stabbing Poe's heart a little more at Kylo walking away from him.

 

* * *

 

 

Shara was still in the garden, her heart crying in pain. She never admit it to Kes, but she never truly give up the idea that Ben was still alive somewhere, that he still could be his way back to them and they could offer him a new home. She dreamt of it so many times, it sometimes felt like it could be really happening. And now they found Ben again but he was already leaving them. And the poor boy had no idea who he was, who Kes and Shara really were for him. It wasn't supposed to happen like that.

And Poe. Poe didn't even remember Ben but yet, he felt in love with him. How Leia and Han would have loved that. Both their boys linking both their families. It should have been such a joy for all of them. But now everything was ruined. It was ruined twenty-five years ago. And Luke Skywalker ruined it again tonight. Seeing Kylo leaving would break the heart of the three Damerons. And the boy would probably never suspect it. At least for Shara and Kes. How could tell him the truth? Would he believe them? Everything was so uncertain. She felt like she knew this boy like she knew Ben. But he wasn't Ben anymore and she didn't know anything about him.

She wiped off her own tears when she heard someone walking into the gardens. She looked up to see her son, tears on his cheeks and seeming too lost in this world. Her son finally saw her and in the second, was running to her. Shara took him in her arms and the boy clung to her. She kissed her temple and rocked him against her, trying to ease his pain. But if what she suspected was right, she couldn't be able to do anything for his broken heart.

 

“He doesn't want to fight for me.” mumbled Poe into her shoulder and Shara didn't need to ask to whom he was talking about.

 

Shara didn't know what to answer to her son. Even if Kylo was probably not sure of himself yet, she saw how he looked at her son, how he smiled to him. She was convinced that Kylo was loving Poe as much as Poe was loving him. She couldn't understand what was restraining Kylo to let himself living this relationship. But he was a clever boy and if he was anything like his father, he was also willing to sacrifice himself to protect the one he loved. And she had the feeling that it was exactly what he was doing with Poe.

But how could she explain that to Poe? Poe who never experienced love before Kylo. Poe who only know love from what he read in the books. But what did books know about real love ? How could she explain to her beloved son that sometimes, loving someone was also letting go ? That even if he put an end to what happened between them, Kylo probably did that for him ? That he wasn't selfish but selfless ? Poe couldn't understand. Not yet.

So she let Poe cry his heart out and she held him against her. Because that was the only thing she could do for him at this moment.

 

* * *

 

 

Kes walked in their bedroom after he put an end to the ball. Shara was already in their bed, with Poe cuddling against her, already exhausted. Shara told him everything and Kes felt his heart break for his son. Kes could protect him from everything, except from a broken heart.

Kes came to lay next to Poe and he took his wife and his son in his arms. It has been such a long time since the last time they shared a bed together. But Poe needed them tonight. And Kes was always there for his family. Even before being there for his Kingdom. Shara looked up at him and Kes gave her a sad smile. Few days ago they were so happy, far away from all this mess. But few days ago, Poe didn't know what love is and Kes and Shara thought that Han's son was dead. So they maybe weren't in best shape at this moment, but he would never take back these few days and particularly the day Kylo walked into their lives.

 

“He is leaving tomorrow.” whispered Shara.

“I know. King Snoke informed me of their departure.” sighed Kes.

”We need to do something, Kes.” pleaded Shara, her brown eyes shining in tears and Kes felt his heart hurting. “We can't let him leave.”

“Do you think we should tell him ?” asked Kes, caressing Shara's hair.

“I don't think he would believe us.” answered his wife, looking down to Poe's face. “What Snoke did to him...all these years he convinced him he was nothing. And Ben believed him.” sobbed the Queen.

 

Kes felt tears coming to his eyes. His sweet Shara, always loving with all her heart, always hoping. It was killing her to have this sweet boy she loved from the moment he was born so close and yet, unable to love him like he deserved it because he didn't know who he was.

 

“We should do something for them. For him and Poe.” added Shara, swallowing her own tears.

“We will find a way to fix this, my dearest.” whispered Kes. “I promise you. Ben will be back next to us and Poe and he would be able to live their love. I promise you.” added the King.

 

Shara leaned into him to give to her husband a sweet kiss and Kes knew that he would do anything to assure the happiness of his wife and their son. It meant finally fighting against Snoke for Kylo's safety. With this new resoluteness, Kes felt the strength which lacked to him since Han's death filling his body again.

He would fight. And win. For Shara. For Poe. For Han. For Ben. For Kylo. 


	11. Complication

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things get more tangled.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I own nothing. 
> 
> Author’s Notes: Special thanks to MidgardianNerd for her suggestions!

Kes already felt revolted speaking to Snoke, but it wasn’t like he had much of a choice. To get Ben back, it looked like he would have to acquiesce to the terrorist’s demands. Even meeting with Snoke and stating his intentions, Kes had a feeling like he might as well be negotiating with the Devil himself.

Snoke looked thoughtful. “Interesting,” he said, “You would make a deal on behalf of Kylo Ren?”

“On behalf of Prince Ben Solo,” said Kes.

“Prince Ben Solo is gone. He was a weak, foolish child, so I remade him in my image.”

“You didn’t completely succeed,” said Shara. “Ben still exists in there. You may be the lowest form of scum to roam the earth, but you’re not all powerful.”

Snoke didn’t even flinch. “I am what ren demanded I be, Your Highness. No more, no less.”

Ren. Kes had heard of it, among Snoke’s people (and he wondered how such a fundamentally heroic people had produced a beast like Snoke), the matter of balance and fate. But how would killing Han and Leia, and kidnapping their son and turning him into a weapon, serve ren?

“To hell with your concept of ren,” Shara said.

Snoke still didn’t flinch. Kes couldn’t help but wonder if there was a way to actually make Snoke flinch.

“So we have a deal, then,” Snoke said. “You meet us at our home, and we speak of negotiations.”

“Yes.” Kes could practically taste his own revulsion even as he spoke. “We shall.”

“Excellent. It really is in your best interests, you know.”

Snoke left, his gold cloak whipping behind him, and Kes and Shara were left alone.

“We did the right thing,” Shara said.

“Yes.” Kes swallowed. “We did.”

He could only hope that they could save Kylo Ren.

***  
It was alone in his room that Snoke had time to take in the new information.

Ben Solo! But it couldn’t be. When Snoke had razed that castle long ago, he had made certain not to leave any survivors. Leaving any survivors of the massacre would be certain to leave a threat to Snoke’s power, and that he doubted he could allow. The child was dead. And yet, if...if...

If it was true, Kylo Ren could not know who he was. If he did, he would go against Snoke, and Snoke doubted that he could allow that. He could not allow him to be a threat to his power. To his vision. That was the last thing he could want. That was the last thing that anyone could want.

His vision for his kingdom could not, and would not, be sabotaged. And if Kylo knew, he would most certainly turn on Snoke.

Just like Maz Kanata and Yoda did, long ago...

Snoke sat on the bed. He could kill the both of them...but no, he had to wait. He couldn’t kill them, not while he was still in their castle. It would cause an uproar. And all signs would point to Snoke as a suspect.

Snoke forced air into his lungs. The best he could do, in the end, was not tell Kylo Ren his suspicions. The boy, after all, couldn’t afford to hope.

***

Poe could have screamed in frustration. Even trying to approach Kylo, it seemed like the Knight was determined to avoid him. To look away from him. To fight him. And he loved Kylo, God willing he did. Loved him like he never could love Rey. Rey was a good friend, but Kylo brought out these feelings in him that he couldn’t truly explain. How was he supposed to explain to Rey how Kylo captivated him, how —

It was later that Poe took Rey aside, and in the corners of the corridors, she said, “What is it?”

“We can’t go through with the engagement.” Poe said.

“Why?” Rey said.

“I love someone else.”

A pause. “I do too, Poe. But...who is she?”

“He, actually,” Poe said. “It’s Kylo.”

“Kylo?” Rey said, in shock. “You’re calling him Kylo now? And you’re in love with him? He’s a murderous snake is what he is.”

“Leave him alone,” Poe said. “He’s not a bad man.”

“You haven’t heard about half the things he’s done!” Rey said. “Father says that he’s done nothing but slaughter innocents — ’’

“Your father is wrong.”

“Then who is he, Poe? Really.”

Poe paused. “He’s beautiful,” he said. “As beautiful as a maid. Or an angel. He’s broken, and yet so beautiful. He’s so graceful, like a dancer, and woefully oblivious to his beauty, his charm and strength. And...” He trailed off. Already he was ashamed of what he wanted to do for Kylo.

Rey looked skeptical, to say the least. “This is the same Kylo Ren?”

“Yes.”

They were silent for a long moment, and Poe in that moment could feel Rey’s disgust with him, more potent than she ever could have had before.

Then, “I don’t understand you, Poe. And I doubt I ever will.”

It was at dinner that Poe tried once more to talk to Kylo, but it seemed that Kylo was still keeping his distance. There was something about the Knight’s posture that seemed almost rigid as he looked away from Poe — more than that, it was like he was retreating into himself. It hurt Poe to see, and yet it sent a lightning bolt of frustration through him, just because it made no sense. Why wasn’t Kylo —

Would Kylo even respond to him?

It was after dinner that Poe spoke to Kylo, away from the others. “At least consider it,” he said. “Talk to me in one of those rooms.”

Kylo said nothing.

Poe sighed. “Meet me in my room if you change your mind.”

And he walked away, wondering how he could exactly get Kylo Ren to change his mind.

***

They met in Poe’s room after a while of mental debate on Kylo’s part, and Kylo could feel Poe’s eyes on him. Brown eyes, open and kind.

“What happened with Snoke?” Poe’s voice was soft, gentle. “Tell me.”

Kylo swallowed. Then he said, “Nothing happened. Nothing that’s any of your concern.”

“I want to help you. I love you.” Poe’s voice was soft, but there was an undercurrent of passion there that left Kylo amazed, amazed at the depths of Poe’s feelings. He almost wanted Poe to say it again, because here, he couldn’t feel that sort of happiness, being loved by Poe.

_How do I deserve happiness?_

“I already know. But...Poe...are you certain that you’re not just trying to get out of an engagement you don’t want?” It was a possibility made up on the spot, but now, Kylo felt a shiver at the thought.

“There could have been other ways. But I love you.” Poe’s voice was soft. “Please, Kylo, if Snoke did something to you — ’’

“It’s nothing I don’t deserve.”

Poe’s eyes went wide. “So he did hurt you?”

“It wasn’t the first time.” And one of the worst parts about it was, at times, not knowing when it would happen.

Poe took his hand. “So that’s why you didn’t want to talk to me?”

It was far from the only reason, but Kylo nodded.

“Kylo.” Poe’s voice was soft. “Oh, Kylo...”

And Kylo found himself suddenly drawn into Poe’s arms. He rested his head on Poe’s shoulder even as Poe stroked his hair, and somehow, he felt a strange sort of peace that he didn’t think was possible. Poe was so much smaller than he, but his arms were so warm, and soft, and Kylo nuzzled into his embrace. He felt calmed, cooled somehow, comforted, and it was like Poe’s love surrounded him like their own little world, comforting him, calming him.

“It is not your fault,” Poe said. “Believe me. Snoke...shouldn’t have done such a horrible thing to you. My Knight. I think...God, I think I love you too much to let you go.”

And in that moment, Kylo didn’t want him to.

“Do you love me?”

“Yes, but I can’t sabotage your future.”

“What if we kept it a secret?”

“What if we were found out?”

“What if we weren’t?” Poe said. “We could keep it secret, even from Snoke. Even from King Luke.”

Kylo took a deep breath. “What if we hurt Rey?”

“She’s not any happier with this. Believe me. She wants Finn instead. But her father doesn’t even care, because he somehow thinks it’s the right thing to do...”

“How?” Kylo said.

Poe sighed. “I wish I knew. I only know that I love you, and I want Rey to be happy, and neither one of us is going to be happy in a marriage that’s good as a sham.”

Kylo, slowly, nodded.  
***

It was the last night that he would spend in the Dameron kingdom, Kylo knew that much. Even in his sleep tunic and sleep pants, he swore that Poe was looking over him with appreciation. Kylo couldn’t say why. After all, he wasn’t particularly lovely. Poe, on the other hand, was practically ethereal in his beauty. Next to him...

“You look better out of the armor,” Poe said. “It’s like I can really see you.”

“You wouldn’t want to see me.”

“You’re beautiful,” Poe said. “Every part of you is beautiful.”

“No...” Kylo doubted that any part of this body he couldn’t stand was beautiful.

“Yes.” Poe’s eyes were so gentle and warm. Warm brown eyes that Kylo could get lost in.

“I’m not beautiful.” Back at the palace, there had been other beings who referred to Kylo as plain at best, ugly at worst.

“You are. Kylo...I wish I could say it was just your body I wanted. But I want all of you.”

Kylo smiled faintly. “You don’t want to have that.”

“I do.”

Silence.

“Kylo,” Poe said, softer now, “Do you want to finish what we started? What should have happened — our dance?”

Kylo swallowed. “I could try.”

They got to their feet, and began their dance. And there was something in Kylo that felt like he was a naive maid being swept off her feet. They spun around, and even though it wasn’t in a ballroom, and they weren’t in their finery, it was easy for Kylo to pretend.

They stopped after a while. Poe was holding him, and Kylo could feel their lips being too close. He couldn’t kiss him — it would be a betrayal — and yet he wanted to, dear God, he wanted to —

Poe drew away. “Kylo,” he began, “Are you all right?”

Kylo took a deep breath and said, “Kiss me.”

Poe did so, and God, his lips were just so soft, so gentle. They were tender against Kylo’s, and Kylo experimentally deepened the kiss. Poe’s moan was coaxed out too easily, and Kylo’s hands ran through his hair. His hair...soft hair, thick hair, beautiful hair.

When they finally broke away, Kylo didn’t know what to think. He was guilty, he was so guilty, and yet he felt a strange sort of happiness and completion that he doubted he could find in Snoke’s kingdom.

“Is that what it’s like?” he whispered. “Being kissed?”

“It’s wonderful.” Poe said.

And it was there that Kylo felt the old guilt seeping in once more. He was a slut — worse than that, actually, because he was interfering with an engagement, even an engagement that neither Poe nor Rey truly wanted...

“Kylo,” Poe said. “What’s wrong?”

“I don’t know what I was thinking,” Kylo finally said. “I shouldn’t have...I shouldn’t have asked you to kiss me...”

“Kylo — ’’

“I’m not going to interfere with your future.”

“I want a future with you.”

“Poe — ’’

“I love you.”

“I know.” Kylo stroked along his cheek. “And I do too. But I don’t want to ruin your future. I don’t want to be...”

“Be what?”

“A harlot,” Kylo said. “Interfering in your relationship.”

“You’re neither of these things.”

And for that moment, Kylo could believe it.

They snuggled together, and Kylo took comfort in Poe’s presence even as they both did so, knowing that at least in Poe’s eyes, he meant something. He doubted he knew what would happen next, but at least he could take some comfort here, in Poe’s presence.

 

 


	12. Parted

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's time to say goodbye and promises are made.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to idrilhadhafang for editing this chapter. Including some fluff because there was too much drama in the last chapters.

Poe woke up when he couldn't feel the morning sun on his face anymore. The young prince opened his eyes slowly and it took him few seconds to focus on the person facing him. When he recognized Kylo's face, a lazy smile tugged at his lips. He could get used to Kylo being the first thing he’d see in the morning, he truly could. 

The Knight was fully dressed and his hands were resting on the mattress, to each side of Poe and his body leaning towards his companion. His intense eyes were looking at Poe with devotion, following the sun playing on Poe's skin. The prince blushed, not yet used to having the whole attention of the man front of him. Poe slid his hands on Kylo's chest, taking his time to caress the muscles before grabbing Kylo's robe to drag him to his lips. The man obeyed without complaint and soon Poe could feel Kylo's mouth moving against his and he got the conviction that he would never have enough of this.

He felt Kylo's tiny smile against his lips and it was enough to fill Poe's heart with happiness. To inspire a  smile in Kylo was the best thing in the world. Poe felt pinned down on his bed by Kylo's huge body and he loved the sensation. He was overwhelmed and it was thrilling. Poe slipped his arms around Kylo's neck to keep him right against him. Kylo indulged in Poe's request and the prince thanked him by putting his hands in Kylo's silky hair. The Knight moaned and Poe felt his chest rumbling against his. It was wonderful to have the power to produce such delicious sounds from Kylo. Kylo slid a hand under Poe's tunic and the feeling of Kylo's gloved hand on his skin was intoxicating.

Poe's body arched towards Kylo's body and Kylo put an arm around Poe's lower back, carrying the young man against him. Soon, Poe sat on his lover's lap and they shared one more lazy kiss. They finally separated their mouths and Poe smiled sweetly to his companion, their foreheads against each other. Poe caressed Kylo's hair, not feeling sated at this feeling.

 

“Why are you already up ?” whispered Poe, his fingers caressing Kylo's jaw.

“I'm leaving today.” answered Kylo, his eyes screaming in pain.

 

Poe froze. It couldn't already be the hour for them to be separated, not when they finally found each other. Why was life so cruel ? Throwing his beautiful knight in his life to snatch him from Poe just after ? Kylo needed to stay there, with him. In Poe's arms. Where he belonged. And far far away from Snoke's twisted mind.

 

“Stay here.” whispered back Poe, trying to swallow his tears.

“I can't.” answered Kylo, nuzzling Poe’s neck. 

“My father could — ’’ began Poe but Kylo stopped him.

“No. You need to stay far away from Snoke. Your parents and you.” said Kylo, his face still hidden in Poe's chest. “I can't stay. Not yet. I'm not strong enough.”

“That's false.” said Poe, kissing Kylo's temple while caressing the back of his head. “You're strong, my love.” 

“I'm not.” said Kylo. “Snoke knows it and if I do something to displease him, I will not be able to protect you.”

 

Poe frowned. Was it possible ? He grabbed Kylo's head and obligated him to look up at him.

 

“Kylo ! Is it why you wanted to put an end to us ?” asked Poe, his thumbs caressing Kylo's cheekbones and he felt them burning under his skin while the Knight nodded.

“He threatened you. Your parents. And your kingdom.” whispered Kylo, looking ashamed. “I can't destroy everything you have.”

“He. Not you.” answered Poe, kissing Kylo under each of his eyes and he felt the tears of his lover finally coming down. “You can't destroy anything. Except my heart if you're leaving me.”

 

Kylo threw himself on Poe's lips in a desperate kiss and the young prince was willing to give him back as much love as he needed.

 

“I can't stay, Poe.” said Kylo once they broke the kiss. Poe wanted to convince him that they could fight Snoke together, but he wasn't dumb enough to believe it was yet possible and Kylo wasn't dumb enough to believe it either. Snoke was too strong. And Kylo knew the King better than anybody else. If he was saying that they weren't ready to face him, Poe should trust him.

“All right.” whispered Poe and Kylo hugged him, pressing Poe hard against himself. The young prince buried his face in Kylo's shoulder.

“I will find you again, my Prince.” said the Knight, kissing lightly Poe's neck.

“You promise ?” asked Poe, his arms tightening around Kylo's huge frame.

“I do.” answered Kylo and Poe settled this promise in a new kiss.

 

Soon Kylo would have to leave him, to go back in a kingdom where Poe couldn't reach him, to serve a King who was a danger for his love. And the only thing Poe could do was to pray for Kylo to come back to him as soon as possible.

 

* * *

 

 

The Damerons were reunited with their court in the yard of the caste, ready to say goodbye to Snoke and his knights. Poe could feel the wave of relief coming from the crowd to see this tyrant finally leaving them. Poe would have probably felt the same still few days ago but now, he wanted to scream and to kneel front of Snoke, begging him to leave Kylo there with them. But he knew that nothing good would come from that. It just would be another reason for Snoke to abuse Kylo and Poe would definitely not be the one giving him more material to do it. And also the fact that it would be humiliating for Poe and the Dameron Kingdom. There was no way for him to show weakness to this tyrant. He would be so pleased to use it against him to destroy the Dameron kingdom. Poe couldn't do that to his parents, to his own pride, to his people and to his kingdom which was also the sole promise of peace for Kylo.

So Poe held up his chin, throwing a dark glance to Snoke when he dared to look at him with a victorious smile, certain to have won Kylo back. Snoke couldn't know that Poe was the one who owned Kylo's allegiance now. Snoke had the sword of Kylo but had his heart. It was more valuable than anything else Kylo could give.

Kylo was already wearing his mask so Poe wasn't tempted to look at him. This mask was belonging to Snoke. It wasn't Kylo, at least not the one Poe discovered and loved. Both gave each other their farewell in the shadows of a corridor and Poe could feel his lips still tingling at the memories of Kylo's mouth and the kisses they shared.

Poe could felt his parents reluctant to let them leave and it was weird. Sure, Poe was loving Kylo and didn't want him to leave and sure, his parents was loving him more than anything else. But it wasn't enough for them preferring to have Snoke, who gave them so much pain and grief, close to them than out of their sight. There was something they weren't telling him. Something important that Poe didn't realize before because his mind was focused too much on Kylo.

Snoke's men were on their horses and the King was ready to give the signal of their departure when the Queen stepped in and everybody froze. King Snoke's looked at her, his icy eyes piercing through the tiny shape of Poe's mother and Poe saw his father ready to intervene in any case of danger.

 

“Sir Ren!” called the Queen and all eyes turned towards the Knight at the back of Snoke's guard. The young man straightened and the Queen walked towards him.

 

Poe heard the crowd behind him whispering to each other in confusion and fear for their Queen. Poe wanted to know what was happening in his mother's mind. He looked at his father and he was surprised to see him worried but not scared. He knew his father trusted his wife more than anybody else in the world, but King Kes was looking like he was relieved that his Queen was talking to the young knight.

Kylo turned his mask towards Snoke, asking for him permission to get off his horse and with a nod, Snoke gave it to him. Kylo got down to the floor and faced Poe's mother, his huge stature making her look even more vulnerable.

 

“Could you take off your mask ?” asked Shara and Kylo, after some hesitation, obeyed. “Thank you.” added Shara with a sweet smile.

 

Poe could finally see the face of his lover and he didn't realize until now how much he already missed it. The Knight was clearly embarrassed from the kindness the Queen showed to him. She wasn't hesitating to act like that front of Snoke and the whole Dameron court. It was giving him so much importance and Kylo, even if he was moved that the Queen thought he was worth his time and attention, and he wasn't really pleased to have all these eyes on him.

 

“I hope I will see you again.” said Shara, taking Kylo's hand in hers.

“I hope too Your Highness.” said the Knight. “Thank you to have be so good with me.” added Kylo, hiding his eyes behind his hair and Shara smiled tenderly.

“I have something for you.” said the Queen, putting some distance between them.

“I can't accept.” answered Kylo but Shara was already on her tiptoes to put a chain around Kylo's neck.

 

Poe's breath hitched. He knew his mother with this necklace all his life. She never took it off and Poe knew it had a sentimental value for her, as much as for his father who was wearing the same kind of amulet around his own neck. Poe was feeling deeply confused but also he felt his heart warm for his mother to be so accepting of Kylo like that.

 

* * *

 

 

When Shara got back on her feet, Kylo looked down to see a gold chain with a green stone at the end. When he looked up, the Queen took him in her arms and Kylo heard some protestations coming from the Dameron's court. He saw Snoke throwing him a dark glance and then, he fell on King Kes’ sweet smile and Poe's shocked face. Kylo felt lost, not knowing how to react. He could attract Snoke's anger and punishment for later if he did something. He could attract Queen Shara's disappointment if he did nothing. And what Poe was thinking right now ? Was he happy for his mother to accept them ? Him ? Or was he angry that Kylo was so starved of family love that he could take his place?

Kylo waited. Queen Shara would finally let him go at a moment. But it looked like she was as stubborn as her son and was refusing to release him until he did something. Kylo looked at Poe again. Because only Poe could inform him to what to do. And when his young lover smiled to him with a tiny nod, Kylo understood. He finally put his arm around the small frame of the Queen and held her against him. The Queen put her hands in Kylo's hair, like her son did to him this morning and Kylo shut his eyes, burying his nose in her hair.

 

“We will take care of Poe while you're away.” whispered Poe's mother. “This amulet will protect you when we can't.” she added, soothing his shoulders.

“Tell him I love him.” answered Kylo, tightening his grip around Shara's waist.

 

Shara finally let him go and she offered him another smile, one of her delicate hands stroking the amulet displayed on his chest now.

 

“He already knows.” she said, her other hand taking Kylo's hand in hers. “But I will do it.” she added, while pressing his fingers between hers.

 

Kylo nodded to show his gratitude and Shara turned around to join back her son and her husband. Kylo found Poe’s eyes again, eyes that screamed to him all the love he felt for him and Kylo hoped that Poe was able to read the same thing in his own eyes. Then, he put back on his mask and got back on the saddle. He hid the amulet inside his tunic and in a cold voice, Snoke took his leave.

Kylo left the Dameron Castle without any look behind him but the feeling on the cold material of the stone against his skin warmed his heart, reminding him that he was welcomed among this family and the young prince had his future in his hands. And for the first time in all his live, the thought of being at the mercy of someone didn't scare him.

 

* * *

 

 

Poe was in the gallery, the same one where he talked with his father about Kylo and their misunderstanding. He was reading, or at least trying to read, sitting on the bench facing the Organas’ fresco. Poe couldn't tell why but there was something oddly comforting in King Solo's face, something oddly familiar which put Poe at ease.

Poe was still admiring the fallen King's features when his parents appeared, obviously looking for him. Both sat at his sides and Shara took his hand, feeling the sadness of her son and trying to bring him some comfort. The young prince shared a sad smile with her. He didn't need to hide his pain, his parents knew.

 

“I love him.” confessed Poe, his heart screaming in pain at Kylo's absence.

“We know.” answered Kes, taking Poe's other hand in his.

 

They shared long minutes of silence, the three of them looking at the painted portrayals facing them. Poe could felt the grief of his father at the sight of Han Solo's face. Poe wondered if he would feel like that with Kylo if he never saw him again. Would the pain be the same ? Or better because he knew that Kylo was alive ? Or worse because he knew that Kylo was alive but unable to be with him ?

 

“Doesn't he remind you of someone ?” whispered Kes and Poe looked up at King Solo's face.

 

He was used of his father talking about his fallen friend. It was some of his favourite tales when he was a young boy. He was so in awe with the other King. He was so charming, so clever and cunning if he could trust what his father told him. It was no wonder why Princess Leia fell in love with him. She had no chance. Like he had no chance with Kylo. Who shared a lot of qualities with King Solo if Poe was thinking about it a little more.

 

“Poe !” exclaimed his mother and he looked at her.

 

She looked back at him, soothing his hand with her thumb and talking in the sweetest voice, like when she tried to explain him something difficult when he was younger.

 

“Do you remember Ben ?” she asked and he could see that she was so eager to have an affirmative answer.

 

Poe frowned. He tried to remember but it was like a fog was ruling on his mind. He could heard laughs, children's laughs and also little feet running but he couldn't see anything.

 

“No, Mother !” answered Poe and it broke his heart to see the hurt in his mother beautiful eyes. “Who is he ?”

“A young boy who you used to play with.” answered Kes.

 

Poe really tried to remember. He let his mind driftin his memories. Ben. The name was throwing flashes in Poe's mind. He could remember hair. Black hair. As much black as Kylo's hair. And also a crooked smile. His body reminded the warmth this smile was giving to Poe when he saw it. He remembered he loved playing with this boy. He remembered he loved this boy.

But how could he forget him if he loved him so much ? Was Poe able to forget the ones he was loving so dearly ? Would he forget Kylo ? No ! It was impossible.

 

“I remember.” whispered Poe. “I remember him. All of him. Except...except his eyes.” said Poe, looking at his mother, his eyes full of tears. “I loved him.”

“Yes you did, my boy.” said Shara, also crying.

“How could I forget him?” whispered Poe, in disbelief with himself. “Can I be so monstrous?”

“No!” exclaimed Shara, kneeling front of her son and taking his hands in hers, trying to comfort him.

“You were too young when we lost him.” explained Kes, putting an arm around Poe's shoulders. “When we lost them.”

 

Them? Poe looked up again at the Organas fresco. Ben was their son. Ben was their little boy. He was Han Solo's little bandit. And Kes' godson. He was a presence in Poe's life that he forgot about. Ben who had been slaughtered with his all family by Snoke. Poe wanted to go back in time and find a moment to choke the old King. To make him pay for Leia Organa and Han Solo. To free Kylo. To avenge sweet little Ben. But it was too late. Queen Organa and King Solo were dead. With their son. And Kylo was at Snoke's mercy without protection.

 

“Why are you talking to me about Ben ?” asked shyly Poe, whipping his own tears off his face.

 

He could feel his parents' nervousness in the air.

 

“Ben is alive.” said Kes and Poe felt like he had been hit right in the chest.

“What ?”

“We thought he was dead.” explained Shara. “But your father and I got the feeling that Ben was still alive and Snoke almost confirmed it to us.”

“Where is he ? We need to get him and- ” Poe began, feeling the love for his lost friend filling his heart again.

“You fell in love with him, Poe.” said Shara and Poe froze.

 

Kylo ? Kylo was Ben ? It couldn't be. Poe would have known. Poe would have remembered him. They're were wrong. Kylo was...Kylo. Poe looked at his parents and he saw no doubt in them. Could they be right ? Could Kylo be the lost heir of the Organas ? Or the Skywalkers ? Of the Solos ? Could Kylo be Poe's childhood friend ? Could the fate be so cruel to separate them again ?

Poe looked up at the fresco and between Queen Organa and King Solo, his mind on Kylo. And he saw them. He saw Kylo's smirk being similar to King Solo's. He saw Kylo having the same roguish charm of King Solo. He saw Kylo having the same brown eyes as his mother. Deep brown eyes that Poe felt like he was lost in since a millenium.

Another flash went through his skull. Deep brown eyes looking at him with love. From Kylo. And then, the same brown eyes looking at him with admiration, belonging to Ben Solo. Poe looked again at his mother and in his eyes, she saw that he believed them.

 

“I need to go to him. We need to bring him back, to- ” began Poe and Kes stopped him with an hand on his shoulder.

“We're already working on that.” said the King and Poe frowned, not liking the need to be patient he could hear in his father's voice.

“He is in danger there.” said Poe.

“I know, my son !” answered Kes. “But Kylo doesn’t remember who he is. And telling him the truth straight to him could be dangerous.”

“He is right.” added Shara, taking her husband's hand in hers.

“What are we going to do ?” asked Poe, needing his parents' guidance.

“King Snoke invited us to talk about some negotiations at his Kingdom. You will go there and take charge of the negotiations.” answered Kes and Poe felt shocked.

“Me ?  But — ”

“You're the prince heir, Poe ! It's time for you.” smiled Kes.

“And for Kylo ?”

“You're the only one who could convince him. He trusts you.” said Shara.

 

Poe felt his heart becoming heavy. What if he failed ? What if Kylo didn't believe him ? Of if he thought that Poe was lying to him just to give legitimacy to their relationship ? Of course Poe wouldn't have to wed Rey if he was courting the real heir of the Organa's kingdom. What if Kylo thought that Poe was too ashamed of him ? Kylo was so complicated. His years of physical and emotional abuse let him ready to believe everything and anything at the same time.

And what if they were wrong ? What if they made him believe that he was the lost prince, offering him an identity and a family and everything was not true ? It would be so cruel. Kylo would never forgive him that.

 

“What if...if that's not him ?” asked Poe and he felt terrified to see that this possibility has never been envisioned by his parents, too certain that Kylo was Ben Solo. They both shared a look of worry, realizing now their foolish hope and behavior.

“Well, there is maybe a way to be certain of it.” said Shara with some hesitation.

“How ?” screamed Poe, ready to do everything to have the confirmation of Kylo's true identity.

“Ben had a mark on the exterior side of his right thigh.” said Shara.

“I remembered.” added Kes. “It had the shape of an arrow. Han used to say it was the mark of the robbers from his native country.” chuckled the King, a sweet smile on his lips at the memory.

“That's why he called him  _ his little bandit _ .” added in unison the three Damerons.

 

They chuckled together before the realization hit them. There were high chances Ben Solo was alive and they failed him, they failed Leia Organa and they failed Han Solo in the protection of their son. But they could do something about that now. They could give back to Ben the life he deserved. Far away from the tyrant who stole his current life.

 

“But how could I witness this mark ?” asked a shy prince.

“Well, when you will be physically intimate with him.” said Shara with nonchalance.

“Shara !” exclaimed an offended Kes at the same time an offended “ _ Mother !”  _ could be heard from her son.

“Oh, please !” said Shara. “If this boy is even just a little bit like his father, there is no way for Poe to resist his charm.” added the Queen, a mischievous smile on her lips.

 

Kes laughed loudly while Poe blushed hard, not used to hearing such innuendoes in her mother's mouth, even less about himself. But he could believe her. Because even before he learnt that his love was Ben Solo, Poe's body, mind, heart and soul were already longing for Kylo. 


	13. Meetings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kylo and Poe reunite.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I own nothing.

Poe left for Snoke’s kingdom the next day. He said a temporary goodbye to his kingdom before setting on the path towards Snoke’s kingdom. He couldn’t say that he was looking forward to it, but it wasn’t like he had much choice. At least he would be able to see Kylo again.

After a long week of riding, resting, and dreaming before riding again, Poe reached Snoke’s kingdom.

And in that moment, even passing through Snoke’s kingdom, Poe couldn’t imagine a grimmer place to grow up, a grimmer place to be. He couldn’t imagine, say, Kylo or Finn ever growing up there, not without coming out somehow scathed.

He continued through the burnt landscapes until he reached the drawbridge, and it was there that one of the Praetorian Guards came to see him.

“You wish to see King Snoke?” said the guard. His voice sounded muffled, almost menacing. (Or was it a she? It was hard to tell with that armor)

“Yes.” said Poe.

“Follow me.”

Poe dismounted and followed the guard into the castle.

The castle was just as bleak, with a color scheme of black and red. Poe wondered, idly, if there was any cheer in the place, but he supposed that cheer would not be high on Snoke’s list of priorities.

“Does it disturb you?” said the guard.

“Well, I — ’’

“I know that King Snoke is seen as a tyrant,” said the guard. “But he also gave many of us great gifts.”

Poe couldn’t picture it. It was hard to imagine the guard saying it without somehow having been brainwashed.

It was at the throne room that Snoke greeted Poe, and Poe felt a certain revulsion at his smile. “Your Highness!” he said. “I trust your journey went well?”

“Yes.”

“Walk with me?”

Poe supposed he didn’t have a choice.

They crossed over towards the window, and Poe was forced, really forced to look at the remains of what was no doubt lush and green and beautiful in the past, but was no more than a shell currently.

“The old Organa kingdom.” Snoke sighed. “How much it has changed. When I found it, it was a bastion of corruption, a centerpiece of depravity. But times have changed. I daresay it was better than it once was.”

And Poe, in that moment, almost wanted to shout at him. It wasn’t dignified, a prince shouting at a king, but by God, he wanted to.

Snoke turned to look at him, almost as if sensing his anger. “Tell me, Your Highness, what have you heard of me? Campfire stories, no doubt, and fairy tales.”

“Basically.”

“They call me evil. Of course, I doubt that they would say such things if they knew the truth.”

Poe doubted he agreed. But he kept his words in check throughout the night, saying the most diplomatic things that he could, saying the right things that wouldn’t anger Snoke (though he longed to get sarcastic) and was more than relieved when he saw Kylo again. It was in that moment that he practically ran to him, and Kylo practically swept him into his arms.

Poe took comfort in it, all of it, because Kylo’s frame was so solid. There was something comforting about it, something soothing, because Kylo was almost all muscle. Muscle and solidness, and Poe couldn’t believe he was feeling this desire from just an embrace, but here he was.

Poe broke away from him to kiss him, and Kylo looked him in the eyes, which were too terribly expressive, too beautiful. Kylo was too beautiful, if only for his own good. “I missed you,” Kylo whispered in his deep almost angelic voice, and Poe felt his heart melting.

“I missed you too.”

Kylo pulled Poe into bed with him and put an arm around him. Poe settled into the crook of Kylo’s body and it was safe to say in that moment that he was content. More than content, actually. He was safe. He sighed happily even as Kylo ran a hand through his hair.

“How were the negotiations with my lord?” Kylo said.

“They were...interesting.” Poe was almost about to say that they were quite frankly unsettling, but that wouldn’t do. Not really.

“You don’t like him?” Kylo said.

“Well...he’s odd.” And that was probably an understatement.

“I’m not surprised. He no doubt seems odd to outsiders. As do most of us, for that matter.” Kylo was quiet. Then, “The castle itself?”

“It’s interesting.”

“You’ll get used to it in time.” Kylo nuzzled against his neck.

Silence.

“Kylo...there was something I was curious about. The last time we were together...”

“I remember.” Kylo said. “It felt...wonderful. Just kissing you, being loved by you.” A beat. “And touching you. You felt...solid underneath that tunic. If a bit small.”

“I’m far from small,” Poe said, teasingly. “You’re just big.”

“I know.”

Poe smiled. “I like your body,” he said, “Really. It suits you.”

“As does yours.” Kylo adjusted himself on the bed. “If we took it a step further...”

“Please.” Poe thought of some of the dreams he had had, the filthier ones about what exactly Kylo’s body looked like under all that armor.

They undressed, and it was there that Poe saw a full swathe of moonlight pale skin, dotted with freckles in places, a strong chest — so terribly strong, Poe couldn’t help but think — the slightest hints of fat on his otherwise flat stomach. Kylo looked like he was about to put on his tunic again, but Poe said, “Keep it off.”

“Right.” Kylo sighed. “I’m not exactly handsome.”

“Yes, you are. Did Snoke tell you that?”

Silence.

“He did, didn’t he?”

Kylo was quiet.

“Whatever he said to you, he was wrong,” Poe said. “You’re absolutely beautiful.”

And Kylo smiled, and there was something about that smile that, just looking at it, was positively radiant.

“Your turn,” he said.

Poe disrobed, all while going over his bodily features in his mind. His chest, not as muscular as Kylo’s, but nonetheless strong. His soft, slight stomach. Kylo looked over Poe’s body almost like it was some sort of treasure, some sort of jewel, and Poe couldn’t help but feel a certain warmth that this man, this beautiful man, found him, in turn, beautiful.

“Tell me what you want,” Kylo said softly.

Poe thought back to the last time that he and Kylo had spent together, when he’d thrilled in the feeling of Kylo’s body on top of his. “Dominate me.”

Kylo chuckled warmly. “Imagine what they would think,” he said, shedding his pants and freeing his truly impressive erection from them, “The prince, wanting a knight to dominate him. To conquer him.” He sighed. “Are you sure you want to do this? I don’t want to hurt you.”

“Please, just do it.”

Kylo straddled him, and Poe moaned; it felt so good with Kylo on top of him. Kylo looked down at him, his eyes all but blazing with desire.

“I don’t know where to start,” he murmured. “I’ve never given or received pleasure. Have you?”

“No.” He and Rey weren’t to even have intercourse until the wedding night, and yet here Poe was, underneath his knight, all but begging for him.

“I can change that.” Kylo’s voice took on a bit of a purr-growl. “I took time to think about this...and I do not wish to share you with anyone else.”

“Good.” Poe’s hand trailed up the Knight’s hip and squeezed it. “Neither do I.”

Kylo knew where to go from there, and he bit and licked and sucked at Poe’s neck, and Poe had to bite his lip to keep from actively whimpering at how wicked Kylo’s lips were. It didn’t work, and Poe said, “Cover my mouth. Gag me if you have to.”

Kylo nodded, before getting up (much to Poe’s disappointment) only to return with a cloth.

“Signal me with your hand if you want me to stop at any time,” Kylo said. “What sort of hand signal do you have in mind?”

Poe held up an index finger.

“I see.”

The gag was tied, and Kylo returned to his ministrations, and God was he doing whatever he could to drag them out. Licking exquisite lines from his neck down, before sucking on his nipples — and Poe was moaning urgently, begging for more, even as Kylo navigated his way down. The sounds were thankfully muffled by the gag, but Poe felt loud, wanton, like he was screaming his desire loud enough for the castle to hear, and all that because his nipples were just that sensitive...

Kylo kissed the gag, smiled. “You sound so beautiful like this,” he said. “So perfect.”

Kylo continued, nibbling and licking Poe’s stomach, sucking on the interiors of his thighs. Poe growled in frustration, trembled, and Kylo smiled.

“Patience,” he said, and Poe moaned. Kylo’s lips moved towards his erection, which was practically aching and dripping, and he removed the cloth from Poe’s lips as he said, “May I?”

“Please,” Poe husked out.

Kylo tucked the cloth between his lips again before delving between his legs and engulfing Poe’s erection in his mouth. Poe looked down, looked at those full, sensuous, wretchedly talented lips sucking him, stimulating him, and he moaned. Arched his head back on the pillow and all but howled through the gag as Kylo pleasured him.

Please. He petted Kylo’s hair, threaded fingers through the thick strands as Kylo’s head bobbed. He was so close now, about to explode, and Kylo’s eyes were worshipping him quietly even as he pleasured Poe. Too much pleasure, he would burst. Kylo was between his legs, Poe lying spread-eagled and gagged, and he needed to stop before he choked his lover —

He held up an index finger, and Kylo stopped and removed the gag. He husked out, “I’ll choke you.”

“I want this,” Kylo said. “And I don’t think we need the gag anymore. I want to know the right noises you make when you come.”

Poe moaned. God, he didn’t want Kylo to stop.

“Please...” And Kylo’s mouth was around him, a hungry moan vibrating around his shaft. Poe was close to exploding and should he do it? Should he all but scream?

When Poe’s orgasm exploded, he had to actually downplay it — to not howl Kylo’s name like he so desperately wanted to, and Kylo practically devoured his seed until Poe was spent.

Kylo was still very much erect, and Poe couldn’t help but stare at his shaft rising towards his belly. He was huge; how would Kylo fit in either end? Kylo looked down at Poe, and said, “You’re tired; you should rest.”

“You’ve never had pleasure given to you,” Poe said. “What if I changed that?”

“Please.” Kylo’s voice became husky.

“I was thinking of using my mouth.”

“Please.”

It was difficult and Poe’s jaw ached and he had to avoid — just enough — using teeth and all of this was just so complicated, but it was worth seeing Kylo’s beautiful face contort in pleasure and his hands rest in Poe’s hair. Kylo tasted salty, harshly salty, but it was Kylo’s taste and so Poe didn’t mind as much. Poe drew off Kylo the moment Kylo begged him to stop, and Kylo said, “I’m so close, Poe. I’ve got to — I need to — ’’

“I can take it.” Poe didn’t know if he could, but he could try.

Poe took Kylo’s shaft back into his mouth, working it, and Kylo didn’t scream when he came, but he moaned, and Poe’s mouth was full of the taste of salt. He swallowed it down, and then collapsed, Kylo snuggling up beside him.

They rested near each other, holding each other close.

“Was it good?” Poe said.

Kylo nuzzled him. “Good? Poe...I’ve never felt so good before. So complete.”

Complete. That summed up everything, in the end. “Kylo,” Poe husked out. “I love you.”

Kylo hummed softly. “You don’t have to tell me,” he said. “I already know.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


End file.
